Yes Joel Schumacher made Batman gay! (Why is that a bad thing?)

I don’t mean Gay as in how a 12 year old would use it. I mean actually homosexual, Joel Schumacher’s Batman is a Gay man. This has often been used as a criticism but, those takes lack nuance and call the recently departed director a bad director. He’s won a few Razzies but some of that comes off as political. Joel Schumacher was one of the first openly gay directors to be given a major franchise. The struggles he may have faced during his life informed his films and that subtext should be looked at with open minds. 

Joel Schumacher started making movies before he came out as gay, and some of them are now fascinating with hindsight. His first theatrically released is DC Cab (also known as Street Fleet) starring Mr T. A film about male cabbies and their friendship as co-workers. Now it’s mostly an unremarkable Police Academy copy but with the knowledge the Schumacher wrote and directed it one scene leaps out. The boys (except Mr T) are hanging out in a red light district and complain at women for going into a bar with the Chippendales. Then to convince the women to stay outside they “put on the show for free”. Joel Schumacher had 4 men (one of whom is a young Stephen Baldwin or Jayne from Firefly) dancing shirtless with lots of gyration on top of their Taxi cabs. 

Schumacher’s second and third films I shall refer to as the Sexy Sax films (as they both feature men playing Saxophones). Rob Lowe’s characters story in St Elmo’s fire goes nowhere but he does play the sax; and Lost Boys has a cameo from Timmy Cappello (Tina Turner’s Saxophone player who is also known for not wearing a shirt). Schumacher’s influence on Lost Boys was to have a new writer in Jeffrey Boam added to project for rewrites to make it “sexier”. But St Elmo’s Fire (the earlier of the two films) was said by Schumacher himself to be “Semi-Autobiographical” and the main plot is a love triangle. A love Triangle where one of the boys in it is mistaken for gay by the girl. 

But you didn’t click on this blog for his earlier movies, it’s time to talk about the “Bat-nipples”. Tim Burton in 1989 made the first modern Batman movie, deliberately steering away from the Adam West series and making something more gothic. He made a sequel called Batman Returns and was dropped as director for the third because McDonalds refused to do a tie-in promotion. Schumacher was brought on to replace Burton as director and the whole movie was reworked and mostly recast. Burton was to have Michael Keaton return as Batman/Bruce Wayne, Billy Dee Williams as Harvey Dent/Two Face and introduce Will Wheaton as Robin/Dick Grayson and Robin Williams as The Riddler. William’s version of the Riddler was to take on characteristics of the Superman villain the Toyman and Green Arrow’s Foe the Clock King. As a kindly old man diagnosed with a terminal disease with a love of games and puzzles who just wants to share his love with the rest of Gotham but Harvey Dent keeps tampering with them. This story was scrapped and Burton went on to try and make a Superman movie for Warner Bros that only resulted in a life long enemy of Kevin Smith.

Joel Schumacher took over with his cast Val Kilmer as Batman, Chris O’Donnell as Robin, Tommy Lee Jones as Two Face and Jim Carey as The Riddler. Now Batman Forever is awful, the only thing that got me through a re-watch of it was thinking about the subtext. Think about it, what is the Riddlers great evil scheme, to expose Batman (well something to do with putting blenders on TV’s). But he wants to reveal to the world that Bruce Wayne is Batman a secret that would destroy his life. Like how coming out might’ve affected Joel’s career as Hollywood is not as progressive as conservative media will claim. How does Batman overcome this conflict? by sharing his secret with his close male friend. Surprisingly Two-Face a conflicted man who is half pink doesn’t fit into this narrative very well.

Batman Forever was a massive success and even had a scene in the film that effortlessly advertised fast food. So Warner Bros commissioned another Batman, this time Batman & Robin. 

Batman & Robin despite its reputation is so much better than Batman Forever. I think why it’s hated so much is that it’s not the Batman people wanted. Batman is thought of as the pinnacle of manliness like Clint Eastwood or James Bond or John Wayne. But as anyone who has seen Midnight Cowboy will tell you “John Wayne was a fag” (their words not mine). The corruption of Batman’s hetero-normality challenges men and makes them second guess their own sexuality. They want to be Batman but they don’t want to bum Robin. Midnight Cowboy did something similar by having John Voight wander around in a cowboy outfit thinking he was so butch and cool. But New Yorkers didn’t have the same view of cowboys as he did, (which is where the John Wayne line comes into the film). 

The idea of a non-heterosexual Batman was not invented by Joel Schumacher. Frederick Wertham in his book the corruption of the innocent actually called Batman and Robin a “Homosexual fantasy”. In response to this accusation most Batman media has run away from this idea. Batman 66 despite how its misremembered is definitely not a gay Batman. It’s campy fun, but camp is not gay. The Adam West Batman is a swinger, he may not drink or smoke but he womanises. He flirts with all the women but due to broadcast rules they never put him in a situation where he’d need to use the Bat-condoms. 

Joel Schumacher’s Batman and Robin is not inspired by 66 (despite claims made by the Nostalgia Critic) but they share an influence. They’re both influenced by the Dick Sprang era of the comics. Batman 66 is knowingly a parody of Superhero comics but Batman and Robin thinks its cool. Dick Sprang’s lasting impact on Batman is the rogue’s gallery. Before him all Batman villains were mostly one and done, but he made them even more cartoony and obsessed with gimmicks. His most notable creation was The Riddler but he reintroduced ones from earlier. The Architecture of Sprang’s Gotham is elaborate, and Schumacher took note. In Sprang’s Batman comics every factory has a giant version of what it makes on the roof (and usually fully functioning) encounters with villains happen in museums with Batman and Robin using the exhibits in the fight (so the opening of the film). Whilst Batman 66 is a normal city with lots of abandoned warehouses that are slowly sinking on one side. 

I wish it were clever of me to point out the Poison Ivy is a Honeypot trap but she actually says that. But thats what she is, Bane is the idea of what a man should be, strong and unfeeling and Mr Freeze is the cruel unfeeling world. Poison Ivy wants to break them up and prove they’re not as united as they thought even claiming that it’s unnatural. The Villains of the Schumacher films are homophobes. 

And as a closing remark, why are more fans willing to accept Frank Miller’s Batman that espouses fascist ideology than a gay Batman? Think about it and if you use gay as an insult grow the fuck up.

Bat-Theft and indifference: Superman the Animated Series

Batman the Animated Series is beloved, we all know that. Justice League is well liked and so is Static Shock. But Superman the Animated Series, is mostly deemed for “completionists only”. Why is this? You could call it the sophomore slump, but that is just an excuse. There are major problems within this version of Superman. Despite major changes to the lore, Supergirl is a better Superman show (even if some changes frustrate and confuse me). 

Batman the Animated series drew from many sources of inspiration. This is often touted as one of its great virtues, it drew from all of Bat-mythos. It drew so much inspiration it took some from Superman and gave it a lick of Bat-paint. Most obviously (and admitted by Bruce Timm) is that the look of the show is inspired by the Fleischer studios theatrical shorts from the 1940’s. Batman the Animated series’ Gotham is a mix of Tim Burton’s Gotham city (from the movies) and Fleischer’s Metropolis. It wasn’t just the visuals that got Bat-pilfered, stories did as well. Some that work better as Batman stories like the Jail-master. He works better as an antagonist for Batman because the Gotham police department and Mayor are recurring characters in the series (the only cop that is notable in Superman comics is Maggie Sawyer). “Joker’s wild” is another example of a Super-story turned Bat, in the Superman comic The Joker is mad because some business man in Metropolis is selling Joker toys without his permission. The Animated series changes it to a Gotham gangster starts a Joker themed casino which annoys the clown prince of Crime.

Some of Superman’s rogue’s gallery ended up not making the leap because of them being sloppy seconds. The Prankster is essentially every Silver-Age Batman villain, Roxy Rocket stole Terra-man’s mode of transport a giant rocket. Terra-man did later make it to Justice League Unlimited but just as a cowboy themed villain (losing both his mode of transport and eco-terrorism). Silver Banshee had a similar fate but this wasn’t because of Batman, a quote about the Disney series Gargoyles from Bruce Timm explains why she was cut. “Gargoyles it’s trying to Batman the Animated series but with lots of gay celtic mythology”. So the Irish super-villainess was cut due to Timm’s prejudices. The biggest victim of Bat-theft was Winslow Scott the Toyman. Even in the first season Toyman’s stories were being stolen from him, his gimmick was stolen in the Gray Ghost episode by a villain voiced by Bruce Timm. The Clown prince of crime got his revenge on the Toyman for stealing his place in the legion of doom (in Super Friends) by stealing the story where he kidnaps rich children. But Edward Nigma would steal more from Scott, the reimagining of the Riddler has The Toyman’s back story of a disgruntled toy designer. The Riddler’s 2nd outing in the series was ripped almost wholesale from the Toyman, with The Riddler using his fame to market Toys (something the Toyman has done many times).

Despite running for 3 Seasons many of Superman’s villains didn’t appear. Vandal Savage, The Ultra-Humanite (Superman’s first arch enemy) Mongul got introduced in the following Justice League series. Mongul’s late appearance confuses me, while a lot of Vandal Savage’s plots could move to Lex Luthor as they’re both earthbound, millionaire, evil geniuses. The Ultra-Humanite has been struggling for relevance, desperately trying to be memorable. Ironic because you’d think a super-intelligent albino gorilla would be memorable. Mongul’s first appearance was straight adaptation of Action Comics Annual from 1989 and Superman 35, with Martian Manhunter added. This storyline from the comics was the 2nd introduction of Mongul. His first introduction story did have him try and pit Superman against the Martian Manhunter but this is not the story they chose. They chose to adapt the one that is a Superman solo story. 

Batman the animated series for it’s 4th Season had its budget cut leading to all the characters being redesigned. Superman the animated series started with the lower budget. This probably lead to the mindset that if Lex Luthor could be behind it then he should, because then they wouldn’t need to design a new character and cast somebody new to voice them. So this led to; Vandal Savage, Colonel Future, The Ultra Humanite, Victor Volcanum, The Planter, Morgan Edge, the original Atomic Skull and more villains who try to defeat Superman with intricate plots not appearing. Lex Luthor is over used, he’s responsible for making Bizarro, Metallo and Parasite despite in the comics only being responsible for Bizarro. Metallo was actually improved by this change, but being voiced by Malcolm MacDowell probably didn’t hurt. However, this an oddity, in an attempt to make this series’ Harley Quinn new female characters were added and none of them lasted in the comics. The least successful was Volcana who was so forgotten that in Emperor Joker, a new fire based villainess called Scorch was created completely stealing her niche. Mercy Graves Luthor’s personal driver has her fans, and she has reappeared in Titans. But in Superman comics she had a moment, including an addition to her back story of her being a disgraced Amazon (similar to the villain Artemis). But most popular was the writer’s mouthpiece Livewire.

Livewire with the ear-grating voice of Tank-Girl herself Lori Petty, embodies my next point. The series actually hates Superman deeming him uncool, Batman the animated series never did this Batman. Livewire only does one thing and talk about how lame Superman is. This would be fine for a villain if the universe didn’t seem to back her up. The two best examples of this would be Superman saving kids and then them calling him a loser and the Maxima episode. Maxima in the comics antagonises Superman because she wants to have his baby deeming him the only man worthy of her. The Animated series version didn’t get this memo, because her episode ends with her running off with the new cool kid Lobo. Lobo was then the most popular character but now he can’t maintain an ongoing series. But how are we supposed to root for a hero if the whole series calls him a loser?

Why Telltale is the definitive Batman?!

Batman! easily DC’s most popular character, his logo can be seen on wide-eyed children’s backpacks and cynical Generation X-ers alike. The character has changed to the tastes of audiences through out the decades. Batman has been the aspiring fascist dictator of Frank Miller’s comics. The apologist for the patriot act in Nolan trilogy and the stoic champion for justice with Kevin Conroy’s voice for DC Animated Universe. The erudite backroom brawler of the Adam West series and the overdramatic showman of the Burton films. He’s made puns while written by Neal Adams and insisted he works alone in the 90’s whilst being in The Justice League.

Batman doesn’t have a personality anymore, every reader’s Batman is different. Fans ascribe a personality to Bruce Wayne, cherry-picking the media and actions they want for “their Batman” because of this creative teams can create a ripple through the Bat-community with their decisions writing the character, one example would be Bruce Timm whose idea of Batman is god’s gift to women and the only member of the Justice League who can save the day on their own. Timm wrote a prequel to Batman Beyond where he revealed that the Bat-family broke apart because Barbara Gordon and Bruce Wayne were having an affair leaving Dick Grayson feeling dejected. Some fans think it’s creepy that a man in his early 40’s was having an affair with a 19 year old, some dislike that Bruce Wayne could be such a lying manipulator and others think it’s just awesome that Batman shags so much. 

The truth about Batman is that he’s a Mary Sue, but this only seems to be brought up as a problem when it’s a female character. Batman isn’t just a Mary Sue he’s the Mariest Sue to ever Mary a Sue. Everything comes easily to him, quantum mechanics he can learn that in a night he’s in tip-top physical condition. He can even be such a jerk that he can commit acts of child abuse (yes actually think about what he did to Jason Todd) but still be allowed in the super boy-scouts floating clubhouse in space.  

Now these are all usually problems with a character, no consistency and creepy creative teams drooling over them so hard you suspect they need to wear his cowl to get an erection. Telltales format of game actually makes these a strength because you can’t make a choice thats out of character for him, and you can make him whatever kind of Batman you want. There are of course limitations to this you can’t choose between Burton’s Art-Deco Gotham or Dick Sprang’s Gotham where every factory has a giant fully functioning version of what they make on the roof. You’re also limited in how much you want to work alone as Batman because you can’t drop in Robin to help you punch criminals. You also can’t pick which villains you want in each storyline so you have to stick with the obnoxious pseudo marxist Penguin the developers created. But your character of Bruce Wayne is exactly as Brutal or Merciful as you choose. You can have him try to seduce as many reporters as you like, have him distrust Jim Gordon and be as rude to Alfred as you like as the story unfolds.  

Explaining the DC Multiverse

So what is a Multiverse, why does DC have one and why am I explaining it? Well let me explain the last part first and the spend the rest of the blog answering the other two. I find that Superhero comics have a lot of aspects to them that may not be easy for newcomers to grasp and I want to do my part to help people get and understand comics, especially as Superheroes are extremely popular but comic books are still seen as the scary artefacts that only a high priest (or complete weirdo) can comprehend and hoard. 

Multiverses are a hot topic in popular culture nowadays with Rick and Morty almost exclusively revolving around the concept, but where does it come from. Erwin Schrodinger came up with the theory and presented it to an audience in Dublin in 1952, but he called it “The many world theory”. This idea inspired many Sci-Fi writers to have different Parallel Universes that can interact with our own and is surprising well respected and looked into by actual scientists. I once saw Neil Degrasse Tyson in a Documentary claim that some Physicists think thats what Dark Matter (which makes up the majority of the universe) is actually the space other realities take up. Like all advanced physics it has yet to be completely proven, but this has never stopped writers from using it, most versions of a Multiverse work on the idea of infinite universes with infinite possibilities (this is the model that Rick and Morty and Marvel Comics use) DC has a specific set of rules including a finite number of universes. 

DC First introduced the concept of the Multiverse in The Flash 123 “The Flash of Two Worlds” in 1961 where the new younger Silver-Age Flash was transported to the Earth of the Golden Age (earlier) Flash Jay Garrick. From then onwards DC’s history was split between Earth ONE (the newer prime universe of Barry Allan) and Earth TWO (The one with all the old guard in it). This lead to a slight problem, DC had relaunched many of their heroes into new personas like the new Green Lantern- Hal Jordan and an Alien Hawkman, but many of their heroes never left publication and interacted with the new heroes in the Justice League (the relaunch of The Justice Society). DC chose to not address this, which is why if you look up the first appearance of the Earth ONE version of Aquaman, Wonder Woman or Green Arrow it’s just a random story not an official first story (Green Arrow’s is even the second part of a story),but if you must have a logical first appearance of these characters I would go for The Brave And The Bold 28 (the first appearance of the Justice League as crossover stories where very rare at this time). Alternatively if you’re a real pedant you can pick Justice League 12 a prequel comic tells how the Justice League was formed, spoiler alert it was to stop an alien who tried to turn them all (Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, Green Lantern, The Flash, Aquaman and The Martian Manhunter) into trees. Of course as their flagship heroes Batman and Superman have a logical first appearance, Superman 76 a story that tells of the first time they met, a week when no crimes at all where committed in Gotham City and Commissioner Gordon insisted that Batman goes on holiday, so Bruce Wayne goes on a cruise that is taken over by Terrorists that capture Lois Lane who was reporting on the launch of the cruise for the Daily Planet. 

After Flash 123 turned out to be a success DC had a nearly annual tradition of having a “Crisis” storyline where 2 or more earth’s collide. The alternate earths had one of two purposes either to be a wacky what-if scenario (different from DC’s staple of the Imaginary tale like “What if Lex Luthor killed Superman”), like Earth THREE which was filled with the Justice League’s evil counterparts and had the lone hero of Alexander Luthor or Earth PRIME which had no superheroes in it (originally intended as our earth but DC got creative and added a Superman). The other was to show off that they had acquired new properties from the companies they had bought up. DC unlike Marvel is a conglomeration of other companies that got bought up by one company, DC even became DC after National Comics merged with ALL STAR Comics. With the merger of the two companies they needed a new name because having National distribution was no longer a brag and ALL STAR was the smaller company with it’s only big recognisable hero being Wonder Woman who was rejected by National. The name DC was not picked as commonly stated as an abbreviation of Detective Comics, because who would name their company after a book that only sold moderately well when Action Comics and Sensation Comics are both better names for your company. DC was chosen for it’s connotations with the Government. When the National and ALL STAR merged both publishers were only a couple years old and it was rare for their characters to meet each other. Batman and Superman wouldn’t be in a story together until 1954 with World’s Finest 71 and this was done as a finical decision as they where always both featured on the cover but had different stories inside. DC chose to shrink the size of the publication and with the shrinking publication the only way they could justify keeping the pair (often with Robin as well) on the cover was to create stories with the two of them together. By 1961 DC and their absorbed companies each had their own established universe, Charlton’s heroes often met, but if they suddenly appeared with Green Lantern with no explanation, it would raise the question as to why they had never met. This concept would only be made worse by Captain Marvel and the Marvel Family being introduced with Captain Marvel being a pastiche of Superman and him having Zeus shared in his origin’s like Wonder Woman. So these new heroes and their universes where given their own separate Earth to explain why they weren’t part of Batman’s softball team. 

DC established their multiverse and had them all clearly marked; Earth-ONE was your main universe where most stories happened, Earth TWO was older stories and where Black Canary originated from (during one Crisis story her husband was killed and grief stricken she chose to join the Justice League). Earth Zero was a square earth created by Bizarro where the laws of physics only worked when they felt like it (it was also entirely populated by distorted clones of other DC characters and is often referred to as “Bizarro World”). Earth THREE was the mirror universe, Earth FOUR was characters acquired from Charlton Comics (Blue Beetle, Captain Atom and The Question probably being the most notable). Earth AD was the setting of Jack Kirby’s Kamandi and Omac (despite these series explicitly being set in the future, Omac even being the Grandson of Superman and Lois Lane and Kamandi being Omac’s grandson). Earth-C the home of Captain Carrot and the Zoo Crew (a superhero team consisting of anthropomorphic animals). Earth-S home to the Fawcett heroes (then called the Marvel family now known as Shazam). Earth-Prime a goofy world with just a Superboy. Earth-Quality home to the characters acquired from Quality Comics (probably the most famous of these being The Spirit) and the last one I’m going to mention The Anti-Matter universe where Sinestro first got his Yellow ring and home to the Anti-Monitor.

The DC Multiverse was changed forever in the 1986 storyline Crisis on Infinite Earths. All Earth’s got destroyed by the Anti-Monitor who was only defeated by The Flash (Barry Allan) when he ran so fast he absorbed both into the Speed Force. The only survivors of this being the Supermans of Earth ONE and TWO, Lois Lane of Earth TWO, Jay Garrick (EARTH TWO), Alexander Luthor Jr (EARTH THREE), Superboy (Earth Prime) and the Psycho Pirate (DC has ignored and retconned out the survival of Vandal Savage). It was now up to these surviving heroes and the Psycho Pirate to recreate the Earth, the result of which being New Earth. The Superman of Earth One, Jay Garrick and Psycho Pirate decided to live on this New Earth, although Superman would soon forget all about this as his whole history was about to be rewritten in John Byrne’s Man of Steel mini-series. Alexander Luthor Jr, Superboy Prime, Superman and Lois Lane of Earth Two would instead live in a dome outside the universe called Heaven. 

The Multiverse concept was gone for a while and replaced by the new idea of “Hyper-time”. Hyper-time was abandoned in 2005 to be replaced by the Multiverse because nobody understood Hyper-time. The storyline that reintroduced this into official continuity was Infinite Crisis, but this new version of the Multiverse had stricter rules, there could only be 52 Earths. This was stated because thats the amount of vibrational frequencies the Flash could generate and only worlds he could recreate the frequency of he could access. All Earths the Flash could access where number with a number like “Earth-1”. “Earth One” and “Earth-1” are different places in the multiverse, 1 is the next variant from New Earth and Earth One is for stand alone stories published in original graphic novels. The whole DC Multiverse has been mapped out by Grant Morrison for his mini-series’ Multiversity and even has 4 earths that nothing is known about other than “their purpose is sinister”. The Multiverse also temporarily housed the Milestone (Static Shock) and Wildstorm universes until they where both folding into the main universe during Flashpoint. The DCAU (DC Animated Universe of animated series) has a placement in the Multiverse as Earth-12.

Now there are two other concepts that need explaining as they are outside the DC Multiverse but effected their inhabitants; The Fifth Dimension and The New Gods. 

The Fifth Dimension is inhabited by cartoonish characters who can warp reality at their whims, notable examples would be Mr Mxsptlkz a being whose whole goal is to make Superman look foolish, Bat-Mite an obnoxious fanboy for Batman, QWSP a well intentioned imp who helped Aquaman in the 60’s and Mopee who before Crisis on Infinite Earths was said to have created the Speed Force. The Fifth Dimension is based on the idea that height, width and breadth are the first 3 dimension and time is the 4th, and we can’t perceive the 5th so it’s full of omnipotent beings. 

The New Gods are something different but similar, they are parasites that are the living embodiment of the concept they represent, the stronger their concept is in the Multiverse the stronger the New God is.The Supervillain Darkseid is the most famous of the New Gods and he is the embodiment of Hatred so the more people feel hatred the stronger he is. Of course some New Gods are positive things Bekka is the New God of Love and Mr Miracle is the embodiment of Hope (something that makes Tom King’s decision to make him suicidal even worse). The New Gods did have a placement in the pre-Crisis on Infinite Earth’s multiverse as Earth FOURTEEN however this feels like a mistake even then when the “good” New Gods live on New Genesis and the Evil ones live on Apokolips. The New Gods can only enter the multiverse using devices known as Mother Box’s that create “Boom Tubes” which are portals that will alter their size so they can actually fit on the planet they wish to conquer or save (each New God is roughly the size of a Galaxy). 

And that I hope has made you wiser on how the DC Multiverse works and why it exists THANK YOU.

Why DC Loves Batman, and only likes Superman?

I’ve written about Superman’s decline in popularity and I’ve written about Batman’s rise in popularity. But I never really discussed why that happened, other than the rise of a new cynical wave of comics. However “Cynical Comics” are a symptom not the disease, Batman’s greatest power is money both in reality and the comics and that is also Superman’s greatest weakness (not that Superman has trouble acquiring money, he crushes coal and makes it diamonds, no one can do that will ever need to file for bankruptcy). Batman is very exploitable for cash, think about it from the stance of a kid playing dress up in their back garden, to be Superman all they need is a piece of red cloth, to be Batman they need, a cape (properly cut to look like Batwings), a mask, a utility belt full of assortment of gadgets and a toy car. Because Superman has Superpowers that can’t be replicated in the real world, all of what makes Superman special exists in the child’s mind, Warner Bros can’t get a toy manufacturer to make real X-ray glasses or a Superman branded flight suit but they can make ride on pedal cars that look like the Batmobile or plastic Batarangs. Superman’s powers even get in the way of toy manufacture, how does a Superman toy fly? a kid runs around the living run holding it over their head yelling swoosh. a radio controlled one is expensive, but also by Superman never requiring new gadgets unlike Batman, less variants can be made to seem authentic, although DC have tried in various ways to create more variants like how Superman the Animated series took away his ability to survive in outer space so they could make a rocket ship and space suit variant toy or the abysmal non sensical Red vs Blue from the comics which literally doubled the amount of action figure variants they could make. Simply Batman is very Toyetic, Superman is not, and when you’re owned by a company that cancelled production on a popular TV show (Young Justice) because “it didn’t sell enough toys” guess whose the golden boy (and getting ANOTHER cartoon series).

But it’s more than Superman’s lack of a Malibu beach houses that have hindered him, Superman has often been used to explore anti-consumerism ideas. The Monicker the Man of Steel actually stems from John Henry, a proletariat hero who smashed a machine because it stole livelihood from workers and died destroying it. Superman as the Man of Steel can do that and survive as he’s made from the same material as the oppressor, he can smash through and save the people. Superman’s archenemy Lex Luthor is even a selfish capitalist (based on Donald Trump in John Byrne’s Man of Steel mini-series). Lex seeks power for power’s sake and doesn’t care about anybody else, and the only one who can stop him is Superman. Of course Marxist ideology was downplayed in Superman comics in the 1950’s after Siegel and Shuster where accused of being Communists. This lead to the new version of Superman, The Man of Tomorrow. The new spiritual Superman, a smarter, kinder man with more power than anyone else, in touch with his higher self. A more ascended being who thought more about others than himself, the Super in his name does not refer to his immense Superpowers but to him being a manifestation of the Super-Ego (from the Freudian trio). As the Super-Ego man, he feels the weight of the world on his shoulders and must try to figure out whether to help or not as sometimes short term help is long term hurt. This version of Superman is still used by Grant Morrison and the ideas where first explained to me by a Buddhist Guru. But what do Buddhist and Marxist ideologies have in common? well they both believe the acquisition of material objects is bad for you, leading Superman to being an anti-capitalist hero.

Of course the corporate overlords of Warner Bros can’t have a flagship hero who says “don’t spend all your money”, especially as they’ve survived on a Whales not Fish. This probably needs explaining “Whales and Fish” comes from freemium online games, a Whale is a player who will drop lots of money on the game and help sustain the games longevity for longer, (like how a Whale will feed a village for months) whilst a fish will only give them a little bit of money if they ever payout. DC has been using this kind of economics for years, in fact Wonder Woman has always had fairly bad sales in the comics but been a very popular license for clothing and other more expensive items. To make up for being in 3rd place in comic sales (first being Marvel and second being Image), DC sell a lot of Toys and massively expensive variant covers.

Batman is a much easier sell to a creepy Billionaire filling his penthouse with Toys, that doesn’t mean DC have never tried selling Superman to these people, but the results have been divisive at best. Look at Zack Snyder’s vision for the character; a first movie where he only cares about the hot redhead, then a movie where he fights Batman and then a 3rd unmade movie where he becomes an evil overlord. 

Modern Batman seems modelled on James Bond, film’s most profitable misogamist. The preferred idea of Batman is an angry loner with a Harem of action figure ready ladies who he attracts by being emotionally distant and abandoning at the drop of a hat. Some are allies other are enemies but one things constant an underlying sexual tension even when it’s creepy or doesn’t make any sense. Poison Ivy is portrayed as lesbian except when she’s around Batman then she wants to find out whats under his utility belt, Harley Quinn has the mind of a child but DC Comics will have her posing suggestively licking a baseball bat as a phallus, Bat-Girl his best friends girlfriend he has no qualms about banging. Meanwhile Superman has had the same love interest in Lois Lane, a progressive hardworking girl trying to make it in a man’s world that Superman treats as an equal and stays with even if she has some negative personality traits. Well Batman and Superman do share a love interest, Wonder Woman, often the one woman in the Justice League reduced to the middle of a love triangle, DC made it officially canon a Superman and Wonder Woman after years of shipping between the two (see Dark Knight Strikes Again or Red Son both storylines that reduce her to nothing more than that), but it made some sense. Wonder Woman and Batman only makes sense in Bruce Timm’s mind as many version of the two have Wonder Woman hating Batman, Wonder Woman respects truth, honesty and vulnerability three things Batman can never be or he’d lose his bravado. But who cares about character consistency when you can have some creepy Batman fan buy his girlfriend Wonder Woman themed lingerie for Christmas that year and claim “She’s like totally empowered” as he ties her up remember that’s the characters only weakness. 

Batman pays the bills, Batman is aspirational to creepy dudes, caring for others doing the right thing, they’re not profitable. That’s the truth, but superheroes where meant to teach little kids to be a good person and do the right thing. Chasing after money is what DC do, with bespoke services like a Brazilian hotel that lets you pretend to be Batman for the night. But those who can afford that, often didn’t get that way by being good people, more Billionaires are like Lex Luthor rather than Bruce Wayne. In the real world parodying comic, Lex became president and we have his inspiration as the real world president. The only real difference is Trump has molested more women than Lex and doesn’t have Superman to stop him. But DC doesn’t want to lose their gravy train by making people question this status quo. Both characters are completely successful at what they’re creators wanted, Siegel and Shuster wanted to create a new American folk lore hero for the Sci-fi-Atomic age and that’s what Superman is, he even in the real world fought the Ku Klux Klan and poses with eagles. Bob Kane he just wanted to make money, he even stole from anywhere he could, Batman comics even stole antagonists from Superman. Seriously a fair amount of Batman villains are clones of the Prankster and even more on the nose is Riddler and the Puzzler (the Puzzler debuting a year earlier in the comics), The Planteer and Maxie Zeus are almost indistinguishable, is it any wonder that Superman the Animated Series feels like sloppy seconds. But at least Superman gets the seconds while Batman cartoons steal his stories, there has never been a Flash or Wonder Woman animated series, I would even say the Flash is tailor made for a cartoon show, the characters known for witty comebacks, using science (sometimes highly suspect science) to defeat his enemies and has a main power with a long history in cartoons (Super speed being shared with Speedy Gonzales and Road Runner). Green Lantern was given a brief a chance to shine, but it was hardly given a chance his movie was originally meant as a slapstick comedy and his cartoon was cancelled in mid-production. Meanwhile Batman is on what his 12th cartoon series now? If anything DC needs to stop having one flag bearing hero and let all of it’s heroes shine, especially as more and more derision is being laid at Batman, except by his fanboys of course.

Holy Over-Baturation

So Batman’s great we all agree on that don’t we? Everyone loves him, his movies gross loads for Warner Bros, I myself have heard people say “I’m a Marvel fan but I like Batman”. Batman is easily the flagship hero for DC Comics, whats the problem? Well thats it really, DC overuse him. You look at DC Comics any month he has about 8 new books being released, if theres a new movie it’s usually Batman (in either Animated or Live Action). The surprising thing is that Batman has spent a good chunk of his publication history as DC’s second-banana.

So why is Batman now so popular? Well it’s because Batman actually stands for nothing. Seriously Superman “Truth, Justice and The American Way”, Wonder Woman “a Champion of Peace and Love” (except in more modern times). Batman has been able to satiate para-military niche (like in Batman vs Superman) but can also be an outspoken pacifist like in Death of Innocents the Horror of Landmines. He can moodily declare “I work alone” meanwhile having more sidekicks than any other Superhero those being; Dick Grayson, Jason Todd, Tim Drake, Carrie Kelly and Damian Wayne who all used the name Robin (at some point, some have used other codenames), Betty Kane, Barbara Gordon, Stephanie Brown and Cassandra Cain who also use the name Bat-girl, Kathy Kane as Batwoman, Ace the Bathound, Bat-mite, The Huntress, Bat-Wing and others that are more questionable like Catwoman, Talia Al Ghul, Clayface and Azrael (all who are often written as villains) or support players who don’t help out in the “Field” like Commissioner James Gordon (who gives Batman cases) or Lucius Fox (who supplies Batman with Gadgets) or Alfred Pennyworth (Batman’s Second Butler, his first was conveniently called Alfred) and of course he works with all these people while being on multiple Super-teams like The Justice League and The Outsiders, He’s truly a loan wolf. The only thing thats consistent about Batman is he doesn’t have superpowers, but wait he managed to make a Sinestro Corp Ring fly away scared. So he has no powers other than being Supernaturally scary that he can make a ring that feeds off fear runaway and there was that time he got shot by Darkseid and started reincarnate into former family members or when he had the Black Glove break him mentally and through Buddhist meditation he created a second personality that believed he was from the planet Zurr-En-Al. How could I forget the time he managed to by to perform an indian rope trick to escape a basement (although that was the last season of Batman ’66). Not to mention the ability to simultaneously convince a city your an urban legend and appear on TV with the rest of the Justice League or be able to come up with unescapable death plans for each member of the Justice League (see Tower of Babel) something that Darkseid, Brainiac (a Super-intelligent android with an IQ in 4 digits) or Maxwell Lord (a telepathic billionaire who knows the league intimately).

Now the whole not having Superpowers thing is weirdly how he was originally second-banana and how he stopped being the companies number 2 hero (at times). DC’s original flagship hero was Superman, the original Superhero. When Superman first emerged he literally built the comic up, now a common misconception is that DC stands for Detective Comics. That is completely false and one of those things people try to pass off as facts to look clever, in fact DC was originally National Comics and took the name DC after their first acquisition (which was All Star) and at this point the brag “our comics are read countrywide” was no longer a unique selling point, so they took the name DC to try and convince people that their comics where more relevant as they came from Washington which is where the President lives (this was completely untrue). Superman spent most of their shared publication history as top-dog, but Batman first got his taste of being numero-uno in 1966 with the rise of Batmania when after being 4th choice for William Dozier’s comedy superhero kids show, after Dick Tracy and of course Superman which could not be sold to 20th Century Fox due to the TV rights to Superman being sold to the makers of Superman The Musical. Now it was time for the Caped Crusader to outshine the Man of Steel but this infatuation was fleeting by 1972 Batman’s comics sales they where being outsold by Aquaman (so Aquaman’s recent movie success should feel a bit like Deja Vu) and it was even being threatened with cancellation. At this point DC also had the Hanna-Barbera cartoon Super-Friends and if you’ve ever seen that show Superman is the man, there’s a clear Hierarchy, Superman, Guest Hero, Wonder Woman, Aquaman, Batman and Robin (who are so codependent I’m sure they have to go to toiler together in this series) and the Junior members (Wendy, Marvin and Wonder Dog in Season one or The Wonder Twins and Gleek in later seasons). Now humiliated and desperate to separate him fro past success DC editorial changed Batman’s creative team to writer Dennis O’neil and Artist Neal Adams. Under these two gone where the days of goofy gadgets and cries of holy, Batman was different a swash-buckling adventurer ladies man able to seduce women like Augustus St Cloud and Talia Al Ghul. O’Neil was a former Newspaper investigative journalist added this experience to his writing and Batman was given more realism than his previous incarnations and with Adams pencil Batman finally had an artist who could rival Supermans, no more of Bob Kane’s chicken scratches or Dick Sprang’s cartoonish characteurs. The creative team increased Batman’s sales so much that they could overturn Editor Julie Schwartz longtime no rogues policy reintroducing Batman’s Rogues first with the Joker in “the Jokers Five Way Revenge”. Although it would take longer for Catwoman to return to the pages of Batman, but she was later in O’Neil’s run on Wonder Woman used as one of her Villains. But even with this new direction it was not enough for The World’s Greatest Detective to get the advantage over the Man of Tomorrow.

Batman would finally beat his rival in 1986 when DC decided to make more “Adult” comic books like the Killing Joker by Alan Moore and Year One and The Dark Knight Returns by Frank Miller, the latter which would have Batman symbolically reject Superman and his ideologies. The message was sent, the sun-god was banished to the underworld by the Dark Knight. Gone was the Bat-tusi and major ret-cons had to be made to reflect the new cynical world view the new Robin Jason Todd had to have a major retcon to his back story. Instead of a rehash of Dick Grayson’s origin, Todd was made to be a tough street-kid who stole a wheel from the Batmobile and with this his personality started to change. Todd went from Dick 2.0 to a brutal coldhearted killer and violent sociopath. Around this point we also had Batfans working on revisionist history which continues to today, the myth that Batman was always “Dark and Gritty” then Adam West came along ignores many facts like the Clock King episode of Batman 66 was written by Bill Finger the same guy fans who dislike Bob Kane claim is the real creator of Batman. 

Now I said this new direction was more “Adult” but thats what the marketers would prefer you to think of them as but a better word is Cynical, and this cynicism isn’t limited to just the Bat-titles. This new ideology of course stripped many heroes of their powers, in the name of “relatability” but this new weaker Superman was less popular and less likeable as a character. Stripped of his smile now forced to scowl and to be more edgy and grow a mullet. The Big blue boy-scout wasn’t the only victim Wonder Woman has in the years since Batman’s rise to top dog has been stripped of her compassion even losing her power of Super-Empathy (easily the most underrated Super-power of all time) and been turned into a Xena knock off. Her origin story has been written so many times it’s hard to find a Wonder Woman Graphic Novel that isn’t a retelling of her origin story, many of which rejecting the ideas of her creator. Of course this isn’t the first time Wonder Woman has suffered the most from Batman’s rise in popularity as her ABC pilot was basically Batman now as a woman where she is the CEO of a major company, reliant on gadgets and isn’t from a magical island populated entirely by women who where victimised by Zeus and Diana being an ambassador for them into the modern world. The only powered character who has benefitted from this mass-nerfing of heroes is Green Lantern as under this new direction his ring can’t just grant any wish to it’s wielder but can make a replica of it from Green Light. Lets not forget the boon it’s given to Green Arrow he now is no longer restricted to being a poor substitute for Batman on the Comic page he gets to do it in his own TV show where he fights Batman’s C-List villains, has an ever growing ensemble of sidekicks and sits in his basement brooding.

The biggest problem is this cynicism doesn’t really extend to Batman himself, the average Batman story has him getting knocked out at some point, and being rendered unconscious is really bad for you. If we where to adhere to the same rules that says we can’t have a man in red tights run faster than the speed of light well, getting knocked out as much as Batman would mean that after a couple weeks of nightly patrols he’d be a brain damaged and would be lucky if he could count to ten. After a few months Bruce Wayne would be confined to a wheel chair being fed soup by Alfred babbling about how he had to stop the Penguin.

DC’s current Alum seem to have no quibble with the current status quo, looking at the “Black Label” DC’s line of creators passion projects, it’s all Batman stories, even Batman stories like White Knight where Batman and The Joker switch roles (a story we’ve actually seen a few times before). The only exceptions of new stories being Kelly Sue Deconnick doing a history of the Amazons (which may be cancelled), the confirmed cancelled “Other History of the DC Universe” and Frank Miller/John Romita Jr. doing Superman Year One which doesn’t fill me with hope as it’s written by a man who has publicly said “I Hate Superman”.  

The worst part of all of this whole idea that Superman is unrelatable is that the concept of  somebody who can solve all the world’s problems, somebody who could enslave the entire human race but doesn’t because he believes in freedom is hard to believe in is really depressing.