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Thursday 22 April 2021

X-men Movie Pitch


Let’s try something different, I’ve criticised Bryan Singer’s attempts at making the X-men movies. So for a bit of fun and me putting my money where my mouth is, here’s my pitch for a fully incorporated MCU X-men. I know the chances of Kevin Fiege reading this blog and me actually writing the next X-men movie are minute but, sorry I mean I know you religious read my blogs Mr Fiege, why are you so shy and not commenting on them.


The Characters

Heroes



Professor X- As a young man at Cambridge, Charles Xavier became the leading expert in genetic anomalies that he dubbed “Mutants”. After publishing his Doctoral thesis on the subject he caught the eye of Hydra. Refusing to let his research be used to make new “Super Soldiers” he went into hiding and created an underground railroad for all Mutants known as “The X-men”.

Charles Xavier does have the mutant power of Telepathy which he uses to find new Mutants, which helps him stay a step ahead of Hydra. Charles is now a very oldman in a wheelchair but he sticks to his convictions that Mutants are people not weapons.

 


Wolverine- Not every Mutant is lucky enough to be found by Charles Xavier. Hydra first found Wolverine as a prisoner of war in World War 2. The Nazi’s when torturing him found out he had an uncanny ability to heal from any wound. After finding this interesting he was sent to Hydra who augmented him further and gave him chemicals so he had no memory. He still hasn’t recovered his memories, but he still wears a set of rusted dog-tags (he thinks they’re his, but he can’t read the name on them) around his neck and wears an army jacket. An earlier mission by the X-men they found him in a giant test tube of chemicals and have been trying to rehabilitate him. He doesn’t speak much, mostly grunts and snarls, he’s prone to fits of uncontrollable anger. Despite his lack of speech it’s clear he’s not dumb just introverted and traumatised by his past. Ideal casting Henry Rollins.



Kitty Pryde- The newest member of the team, Kitty Pryde serves as the point of view character for the audience. Kitty Pryde likes computers and Dungeons and Dragons, because of this love of D&D the first chance she gets, she befriends a small dragon and keeps it as a pet. As the newest member she’s shy and uncomfortable with the team's personal drama. Despite her being more reserved, when she does assert herself she manages to save the day (or gets a pet Dragon).



Cyclops- Scott Summers is a bad leader. He’s not respected by the team and is only good at parroting back what Charles Xavier says. He used to have a lighter side but since his girlfriend Jean was lost during a mission and presumed dead he changed. He’s also bitter, insecure and reckless. He also lacks any empathy or compassion.



Storm-  Storm is the real leader of the X-men, adept at thinking on her feet, filled with compassion, she has every quality Cyclops lacks. She takes an instant shine to Kitty Pryde, she also counsels Wolverine and tries to help regain his memories (with aid of Professor X). The best description I can give for Storm is “Badass” and a Rock. 



Nightcrawler- Kurt has never taken anything THAT seriously, a constant joker and peacemaker. A former circus performer, Kurt is a total show-off. He first joined the X-men after it was discovered he wasn’t wearing a costume and was chased by a mob of religious extremists thinking he was a demon (ironic seeing as Kurt is Catholic). Cyclops blames him for the loss of Jean and gives him a hard time any chance he gets (despite Kurt’s attempts at peacekeeping).

He’s also the first person to get through to Wolverine; he even once made him laugh this is because Kurt reminds him of one of his old Army buddies (same actor just not under the Nightcrawler make-up). Casting note: Andy Samberg or Zach Braff.

  


Forge-  A proud Native American and the team's Tech expert, he also has a thinly veiled crush on Storm (he doesn’t get much screen time; sorry).


Team note- based largely on the second team without Colossus. This is because the second lineup was the team that launched them to being Marvel’s Flagship series. Colossus was cut because he’s superfluous, his main character trait is his relationship with Kitty which is one of the worst aged aspects of the Comics.

I also took inspiration from the early years of the comic where the X-men are a secret because otherwise we would have heard of them earlier in the MCU.

  

Villains



Mr Sinister- Genetic expert and Eugenics enthusiast. He did well in Hydra, he’s obsessed with creating the ultimate “Super Soldier”. He’s the kind of classic Super-villain that wouldn’t look twice at his own name.

 


Sabretooth- Similar to Wolverine, Sabretooth is a living weapon, the only difference is Sabretooth loves it. He’s Callous and sadistic, he loves killing but the one thing he likes more is playing with his “Prey”. He has similar abilities to Wolverine and calls him runt, Sabretooth is a bigger meaner and nastier Wolverine. 



Phoenix- Former X-man Jean Grey/Marvel Girl after being left behind on a mission she’s been experimented on has no memory. Mr Sinister dubbed her “Phoenix” because she has been reborn. Her Telepathy allows her to be the ultimate “Super Spy” able to extract information from targets, she can also get close to targets by creating illusions in their minds and if that does work her telekinesis can help her defend herself. Mr Sinister has also perfected a new form of control where she is fully programmable with set memories that can be added for her mission. So with her telepathic abilities she could fully become another person and gain the trust of her target.

 




Story

Opening the X-men (Cyclops, Storm, Wolverine and Nightcrawler) fighting Krakoa (we want something big and weird for them to fight). Cyclops barks an order to teleport at its mouth, Storm yells back “that’s crazy”, Cyclops then yells “fine I’ll do it” and Blasts it to pieces with his Optic Blast. The team then erupts into an argument, “See if Nightcrawler knocked that branch down it would’ve toppled”. Storm has none of this, Nightcrawler defends Cyclops whilst trying not to upset Storm.

Elsewhere Kitty Pryde is sitting at a bus stop reading a comic, when she suddenly phases through the wall into an ATM machine, making the machine go wild and spray cash everywhere. Bank Security then chases the girl, until Forge appears from an alleyway and says “your mother probably told you not to trust strangers, but for once don’t listen to your mother”. Once they’re clear Forge says to Kitty, “I know you didn’t do anything wrong, but they won’t understand that”. He then lifts up a turf to reveal some sort of Jack Kirby-esque flying machine. “Ya see Kitty you’re a mutant, and mutants aren’t looked on so kindly”. “About the best you can expect from people is ‘why aren’t you in The Avengers’ but I know a place you can hide out”.

The next scene is Kitty and Forge landing at the X-mansion and Kitty getting the tour of the place from Professor X. We’re also formally introduced to the team. “Is this all the X-men?” Kitty remarks, “well there was another one once” Xavier will reply.

From there we segue to a nice normal dinner with an attractive redhead and an older man sitting down. The man will comment with “your hair is looking very blonde today”. The Dinner will go well until he comments “where are the kids” to which the woman has no answer. After a few moments of umming she’ll say “So much for playing Happy Families” we then get a scene of her ripping the information she wants out of the man’s head. The man then passes out and she telepathically messages Sinister that she’s got what she came for. 

The next scene is Wolverine in repressed memory therapy with Professor X and Storm. Cyclops interrupts the session calling Wolverine a dumb animal and to tell them Forge’s mutant detector just got a reading. The team suits up for a mission. The mission is to stop, Sabretooth is wreaking havoc in New York. But this is a trap by Sinister, Wolverine and Nightcrawler end up being captured by Phoenix and Sinister who takes them to a secret lab. 

Storm and Cyclops regroup in the X-mansion, Kitty asks if she can join the team. Cyclops says no way but Storm points out they need all the help they can get and Professor X agrees. Using Cerebro they find Sinister’s lab (by searching for Nightcrawlers and Wolverines minds). 

Nightcrawler regains consciousness, and Sinister starts monologuing. Nightcrawler points out how ridiculous Sinsters name is and hears Wolverine chuckle. 

After landing and infiltrating Sinisters lab, Kitty finds a jar with a dragon in it. Kitty befriends the Dragon much to Cyclops' chagrin. Storm points out that a Dragon they saved could be a good ally and Cyclops changes the subject by asking Professor X to give them directions. (Professor X is in cerebro communicating telepathically). 

Climactic fight scenes, Nightcrawler asks if Kitty thinks Mr Sinister is a silly name and she replies with “was Professor Jerk taken then”. Good guys win, bad guys lose.

 

Post Credits

First: Sabretooth meets Magneto, who offers him a place in the Mutant Liberation force. He agrees if he can do more killing

Second: Jean asks Scott if he wants to form a new club, like the X-men but with more “Hellfire”. 


OK so that's a rough draft. But I’m pretty sure the actual Marvel movies weren’t written up in one afternoon. But that's the bare bones of my idea for an X-men movie…