Totally Meta Ninja Toys

Picture the scene, Christmas Eve 1988 and the parents of children all across are searching for the toys their children have been pestering them for. The toy with a name made up of various seemingly un-connected nouns in an order the keep muddling up, was it Mutant Ninja Teenage Turtles. Searching store to store for this toy from the ad with an imitator of Rob Paulsen (rumoured to be Sean Schemel who would later voice Goku in Dragonball Z) riling them into a frenzy.

We all know about this we’ve heard stories about toys being sold out on Christmas Eve, the weird part is… The Ninja Turtles did a story about it 3 years before they released the toys that swept America by storm. To quote the Tales from TMNT series “Let me tell you story…”

Michaelangelo 1, (a One Shot Comic they label as a Micro-Series) is all about this sort of thing. It’s kind of like the movie Jingle All the Way but with a more believable everyman than Arnold Schwarzenegger in it’s main role, a Five foot tall talking Turtle.

The comic opens on a winter scene of ice skaters and sledding and Michelangelo (his name spelt like the Renaissance painter). Michelangelo is thinking of getting presents for his brothers but with just $10 realises that this is a difficult task. He also stumbles across a stray cat that he gives the most logical name that a Turtle trained in Japanese Martial Arts named after the painter of the Sistine chapel could give a cat “Klunk”. Mikey looks into a toy shop where parents are frantically searching for “Little Orphan Aliens” the most adorable toy in the world. So adorable that a gang of hoodlums (one of whom is called Hector) steal a truck full of them that where to be donated to the nearest orphanage in hopes to sell them for a massive profit.

Michelangelo proving he’s the best of the Ninja Turtles, stops them on his own, but in the process ends up stealing them. Of course a truck of stolen toys would get the attention of the police so Michelangelo is now on the run from the cops. And of course him getting caught by the police would cause no end of questions like “What is he?” or “Why would you call a cat Klunk?” (who has spent most of this time stuffed in Mikey’s coat). 

Mikey then stashes the Truck in an alleyway away from the police because the toys would end up impounded and wouldn’t end up with the Orphans who are completely innocent in this whole affair. Michelangelo then returns to April’s apartment to tell her and his brothers about his Christmas Eve. His Brothers and April then dress up as elves and Mikey as Santa Claus to give the children their toys.

Now this story was later adapted into an episode of the 2003 animated series (which for it’s first 2 seasons was mostly adaptations of the original Turtle comics). But this is a blog about comics so I wrote about the comic, also I have the 1990 reprint that has a bonus story… and heres a quick review of a Christmas Carol but starring Raphael, it sucks, it’s as contrived as it sounds.