Yes Joel Schumacher made Batman gay! (Why is that a bad thing?)

I don’t mean Gay as in how a 12 year old would use it. I mean actually homosexual, Joel Schumacher’s Batman is a Gay man. This has often been used as a criticism but, those takes lack nuance and call the recently departed director a bad director. He’s won a few Razzies but some of that comes off as political. Joel Schumacher was one of the first openly gay directors to be given a major franchise. The struggles he may have faced during his life informed his films and that subtext should be looked at with open minds. 

Joel Schumacher started making movies before he came out as gay, and some of them are now fascinating with hindsight. His first theatrically released is DC Cab (also known as Street Fleet) starring Mr T. A film about male cabbies and their friendship as co-workers. Now it’s mostly an unremarkable Police Academy copy but with the knowledge the Schumacher wrote and directed it one scene leaps out. The boys (except Mr T) are hanging out in a red light district and complain at women for going into a bar with the Chippendales. Then to convince the women to stay outside they “put on the show for free”. Joel Schumacher had 4 men (one of whom is a young Stephen Baldwin or Jayne from Firefly) dancing shirtless with lots of gyration on top of their Taxi cabs. 

Schumacher’s second and third films I shall refer to as the Sexy Sax films (as they both feature men playing Saxophones). Rob Lowe’s characters story in St Elmo’s fire goes nowhere but he does play the sax; and Lost Boys has a cameo from Timmy Cappello (Tina Turner’s Saxophone player who is also known for not wearing a shirt). Schumacher’s influence on Lost Boys was to have a new writer in Jeffrey Boam added to project for rewrites to make it “sexier”. But St Elmo’s Fire (the earlier of the two films) was said by Schumacher himself to be “Semi-Autobiographical” and the main plot is a love triangle. A love Triangle where one of the boys in it is mistaken for gay by the girl. 

But you didn’t click on this blog for his earlier movies, it’s time to talk about the “Bat-nipples”. Tim Burton in 1989 made the first modern Batman movie, deliberately steering away from the Adam West series and making something more gothic. He made a sequel called Batman Returns and was dropped as director for the third because McDonalds refused to do a tie-in promotion. Schumacher was brought on to replace Burton as director and the whole movie was reworked and mostly recast. Burton was to have Michael Keaton return as Batman/Bruce Wayne, Billy Dee Williams as Harvey Dent/Two Face and introduce Will Wheaton as Robin/Dick Grayson and Robin Williams as The Riddler. William’s version of the Riddler was to take on characteristics of the Superman villain the Toyman and Green Arrow’s Foe the Clock King. As a kindly old man diagnosed with a terminal disease with a love of games and puzzles who just wants to share his love with the rest of Gotham but Harvey Dent keeps tampering with them. This story was scrapped and Burton went on to try and make a Superman movie for Warner Bros that only resulted in a life long enemy of Kevin Smith.

Joel Schumacher took over with his cast Val Kilmer as Batman, Chris O’Donnell as Robin, Tommy Lee Jones as Two Face and Jim Carey as The Riddler. Now Batman Forever is awful, the only thing that got me through a re-watch of it was thinking about the subtext. Think about it, what is the Riddlers great evil scheme, to expose Batman (well something to do with putting blenders on TV’s). But he wants to reveal to the world that Bruce Wayne is Batman a secret that would destroy his life. Like how coming out might’ve affected Joel’s career as Hollywood is not as progressive as conservative media will claim. How does Batman overcome this conflict? by sharing his secret with his close male friend. Surprisingly Two-Face a conflicted man who is half pink doesn’t fit into this narrative very well.

Batman Forever was a massive success and even had a scene in the film that effortlessly advertised fast food. So Warner Bros commissioned another Batman, this time Batman & Robin. 

Batman & Robin despite its reputation is so much better than Batman Forever. I think why it’s hated so much is that it’s not the Batman people wanted. Batman is thought of as the pinnacle of manliness like Clint Eastwood or James Bond or John Wayne. But as anyone who has seen Midnight Cowboy will tell you “John Wayne was a fag” (their words not mine). The corruption of Batman’s hetero-normality challenges men and makes them second guess their own sexuality. They want to be Batman but they don’t want to bum Robin. Midnight Cowboy did something similar by having John Voight wander around in a cowboy outfit thinking he was so butch and cool. But New Yorkers didn’t have the same view of cowboys as he did, (which is where the John Wayne line comes into the film). 

The idea of a non-heterosexual Batman was not invented by Joel Schumacher. Frederick Wertham in his book the corruption of the innocent actually called Batman and Robin a “Homosexual fantasy”. In response to this accusation most Batman media has run away from this idea. Batman 66 despite how its misremembered is definitely not a gay Batman. It’s campy fun, but camp is not gay. The Adam West Batman is a swinger, he may not drink or smoke but he womanises. He flirts with all the women but due to broadcast rules they never put him in a situation where he’d need to use the Bat-condoms. 

Joel Schumacher’s Batman and Robin is not inspired by 66 (despite claims made by the Nostalgia Critic) but they share an influence. They’re both influenced by the Dick Sprang era of the comics. Batman 66 is knowingly a parody of Superhero comics but Batman and Robin thinks its cool. Dick Sprang’s lasting impact on Batman is the rogue’s gallery. Before him all Batman villains were mostly one and done, but he made them even more cartoony and obsessed with gimmicks. His most notable creation was The Riddler but he reintroduced ones from earlier. The Architecture of Sprang’s Gotham is elaborate, and Schumacher took note. In Sprang’s Batman comics every factory has a giant version of what it makes on the roof (and usually fully functioning) encounters with villains happen in museums with Batman and Robin using the exhibits in the fight (so the opening of the film). Whilst Batman 66 is a normal city with lots of abandoned warehouses that are slowly sinking on one side. 

I wish it were clever of me to point out the Poison Ivy is a Honeypot trap but she actually says that. But thats what she is, Bane is the idea of what a man should be, strong and unfeeling and Mr Freeze is the cruel unfeeling world. Poison Ivy wants to break them up and prove they’re not as united as they thought even claiming that it’s unnatural. The Villains of the Schumacher films are homophobes. 

And as a closing remark, why are more fans willing to accept Frank Miller’s Batman that espouses fascist ideology than a gay Batman? Think about it and if you use gay as an insult grow the fuck up.

The Author fan relationship needs to change!

Comic book writers have this power over fans. Fans often want to write the adventures of their favourite heroes, I myself have planned out runs with various storylines for The Fantastic Four, Dr Strange, Superman, Wonder Woman, The X-men, The Justice League and more. Just sat there imagining new obstacles and great moments of triumph for Superheroes. But the only ways into the industry as a writer is knowing another writers and Editors or having writing success elsewhere. The second wave of Marvel writers were the fanboys who hung out in the lobby.

Because of this writers have the ability to exploit fans, this was also prevalent with rock stars in the 60’s and 70’s. But the Rock groupies only wanted a song or a story to tell their friends about Ringo Starr’s penis. The groomed aspiring comic’s writer wants more and has this assumed level of friendship. The writer is making the girl think it’s her ideas and writing skill he’s interested in not her ass. This is a form of deception, even if it does happen to older women who should know better.

Kelly Sue Decconick has offered a solution which is to make Comic book writers more anonymous, like we’re reading Superman not Grant Morrison’s Superman. Now to comic book fans writers are a big deal, they have the power to lift a series to new heights or have it plummet to it’s lowest ever. To the younger or more casual fan Spider-man is Spider-man even if it’s not being written by Stan Lee. But why do we even know who they are, a screen-writer for TV isn’t necessarily known, with some exceptions the head writer of Doctor Who is generally known by the more engaged parts of the fanbase, but not the rest which caused fans to blame Stephen Moffett for the Kill The Moon episode that he didn’t write (Peter Harness wrote it). But there is one big difference between Comics and television, and thats the audience buys it every time. A bad episode of a TV show comes on and your wallet isn’t lighter, you’ve just wasted an hour of your life on Netflix which could’ve been better spent. But a Trade Paperback you buy a new volume of Batman and read it, but how do you know this is the Batman for you? Batman varies wildly, superheroes aren’t that consistent, Captain America’s politics vary from run to run. Do I want Leftist Captain America who punches Nazi’s or do I want one who says “that protesting the Nazi’s is as bad as Nazi’s” (yes that is a real moment).

Comics like Novels are sold by Authors, these Authors become brands, and some Authors don’t actually write their own books like James Patterson (well there is a lot of contradictory evidence of this). But Superhero comic’s weren’t original sold by the writers, the first writer to be a selling point is probably the most famous Stan Lee. Marvel was sold as all being the brain-child of Stan and the universe was all connected so The Fantastic Four could meet the Hulk. This was actually a lie, Marvel’s style of editing was that the artist would come up with an idea and draw it then the writer would put what they thought were the appropriate words in the panels. Stan did some of this, but so did his brother Larry who had the pen name Stan Lee. Larry has since been given retroactive credit for his work on The Mighty Thor but it’s still to us outsider’s if Stan wrote everything and in his own words “[Stan] would steal any credit that wasn’t nailed down”. Because marvel had a standard writer, artists didn’t have to copy each other, at DC Bob Kane made every artist emulate his art style until his departure. Bob would also trace other artists panels when he did do artwork on Batman and with them being in his style nobody could tell (unless they went back into the back issues and checked if that panel was the same). But after artist got the green light to be themselves, writers started getting credit.

And this is the problem, writers deserve credit for what they write. But nobody should laud their power over others or try and use their position to create a quid-pro-quo arrangement with fans with ambitions. So how do you solve it?   

WTF Superman

Superman comics have been in print since 1938 and, with expectations of monthly stories, some are going to be thought of last minute. This being the case, not every Superman story is going to be a classic. Not every villain is going to maintain popularity and the ideas that the writers come up with are sometimes just bizarre. So bizarre that they even make Bizarro scratch his head. If I couldn’t convince you to read some Superman comics from the best list, maybe I can convince you to do so with the weirdest. Heads up though, the weird sometimes cross over with the worst.

Superman’s inner conflict

Superman has sometimes been his own greatest enemy. In the Silver Age, Superman once gained the superpower to blast a miniature version of himself out of his hand to do the Superman thing of saving everyone. This new useful super power was short-lived because Superman got jealous of all the attention that mini-Superman got. You’d think this would be the only time that Superman would be in literal conflict with himself but you’d be wrong.

During Marv Wolfman’s tenure on Adventures of Superman, a new character was introduced the Gangbuster. Wolfman created Gangbuster as a criticism of the new anti-heroes (Frank Miller’s Daredevil in particular). However, his abrupt departure lift this character and plot-thread dangling. Realising that these 2 characters had never met, an idea was formed by the new creative team that they must be the same person. Whenever Superman went to sleep, he would become the Gangbuster. The reason given for this was that Superman wasn’t happy with the results he was getting. He wanted to punish criminals more. The revelation that he was in fact the unhinged vigilante caused Superman to go into exile for a day.

This concept couldn’t be left alone forever. DC’s creative teams were in conflict over how to present Superman, with Dan Jurgen’s wanting him to just punch things and Karl Kessel wanting a more intelligent and thoughtful Man of Steel. Inspired by an imaginary tale from the 60’s, Superman splits into 2 Supermen and fixes all the world’s problems (one marrying Lois Lane and the other Lana Lang). DC figured this would be a way to please everyone. It did not. Despite this storyline being universally hated on release and still being reviled today, DC are releasing Red and Blue Superman graphic novel collections and toys of both Fire Superman and Electric Superman. 

The Justice League would be nothing without him

I’m not making the old joke that he doesn’t need the rest of Justice League because he’s so powerful. Nope. Back in Smallville, he single-handedly made the members of the Justice League who they are. In Adventure Comics 258, Superboy teaches Oliver Queen archery and gives him a robin hood costume. In New Adventures of Superboy 13, he meets a young Hal Jordan and convinces him to give up his delinquency. Some of Superboy’s early meetings with Justice leaguers were less formative, like Aquaman, but then there’s Batman. Bruce Wayne once met Clark Kent before the murder of his parents and the story ends with Superboy showing him his time sphere and all the future adventures they’ll have as Superman and Batman. Makes you wonder if he now antagonised Joe Chill.

Thankfully, for all our sanity, these stories are considered non-canon.

The Squiffles

The Squiffles are extra dimensional beings that only Adolf Hitler and Superman can see. Originally appearing in Superman 22 during the war, they’re almost a prototype for 5th Dimension imps. The Squiffles have been at war with the Gremlins for generations. The Squiffles join forces with the Axis, whilst the Gremlins joined with the Allies, and its all very strange.

Time Travel

Time Travel is a big part of Superhero comics. The ending of the original Superman movie has our hero fly around the earth in reverse rotation to save Lois Lane. Thats just the tip of the iceberg. Brainiac 5 created a time bubble so that Superboy could join his superteam in the 31st Century. But Brainiac 5’s messing with time travel has nothing on the rest of the cast Superman comics. Superboy once travelled back in time to try and prevent the assignation of Abraham Lincoln, only to find Lex Luthor in that same part of time. Luthor then hypnotises the young Superman, which prevents him from saving the 16th President of the United states.

Superman’s Girlfriend, Lois Lane 59, has the plucky young reporter travelling back and romancing Jor-El. Yes, and she’s aware of whats she’s doing. When leaving this doomed time, she travels to see a young Kal-El playing in his garden and kisses him because the grown up Superman wouldn’t let her do this. I think Lois might need therapy.

A young Jor-El also travels to earth to meet Superboy in Superboy 121. The story even includes exposing Jor-El to Red Kryptonite so that he’ll age up so Superboy can spend some real quality time with his father.

Superman has had to use time travel to defeat his arch enemy Titano. Superman is so strong he can literally punch you into next week and that’s holding back. Titano got thrown back to prehistoric times where he lived peacefully. That is until Superman was having a clear out of the Fortress of Solitude and he found a massive TV-like device. Not knowing what this device was, he turned it on and left it on because it had Dinosaurs on it. He then realised that this was a time travel device when he saw Titano. The giant ape then went to rampage through Metropolis and Superman has great difficulty defeating the giant ape that shoots kryptonite rays from his eyes because, in his own words, “He can’t use his robot duplicate because his apartment is being painted”. 

Kristin Wells might be the most responsible time-traveller other than Brainiac 5. Kristin Wells is a future historian for Superheroes who travels back in time to find out the secret identity of the Superwoman. Realising that all of her powers could be copied by 31st Century technology and that Superwoman hasn’t shown up, it must be her. She also turns down the advances of Jimmy Olsen, who is her Great-Great-Great Grandfather (Jimmy doesn’t know this, he’s just seen a hot redhead).

“Seminal” writers creating trash

Did you know Chris Claremont wrote a Superman comic? The writer best known for reinventing the X-men wrote a Superman comic. Before this story, Claremont had, throughout his career, seemed determined to write the Man of Steel, creating homages like Gladis the Gladiator in X-men and Majestic in Jim Lee’s Wildcats. You’d think the guy who wrote strong female characters in X-men and made Superman homages would’ve done a good job with Superman and Wonder Woman For Who God’s Destroy. Superman in a world where the Nazi’s won WW2 sounds like a good read but it’s bad.

This is actually like the recent DC films in comic form. Superman is a jerk who actually tells Lois Lane that “He wishes her and Lana were dead” because then he can sunbathe on the moon. Also, Diana Prince is the Queen of Nazi’s and Superman becomes a Centaur and tries to eat Lana Lang. Words can’t convey how badly it does Superman but it’s not the worst.

The worst Superman stories belong to Frank Miller and his tribute band Brian Azzarello. I’ve already written about Superman Year One. I don’t think I need to write about the duo’s Batman: The Master Race and it’s plot about Superman and Wonder Woman creating a false messiah. 

Azzarello, for some reason, has been allowed to write about Superman multiple times. The best evidence that he doesn’t know about Superman comics would be Luthor. A story from the villains perspective with Winslow Scott, a villain known for his hatred of technology, being an elite hacker.

Joe Kelly was forced to write a storyline that introduced a new General Zod because Azzarello’s script Superman For Tomorrow featured the villain (despite the character appearing only in once in continuity were he killed off). The storyline that followed For Tomorrow killed off Zod, almost showing Kelly’s contempt for the pitch.

But what is For Tomorrow about? I can sum it up in one sentence. “Superman decides who lives and who dies”. Superman, who saves everyone and anyone at anytime. Superman, who believes anyone can be redeemed, apparently after arguing with a priest decides half the population doesn’t deserve saving. Zod then steals this list and teleports all the worthy to a dimension called “Heaven” except for Superman. Other than this list, Superman also interferes in military conflicts and disables only one side of the conflict, leaving them to be slaughtered. At no point does he do anything resembling Superman. However, the artwork by Jim Lee gets this one highly promoted by DC, despite it being better used as toilet paper.

The Curse of Superman

Writing about the weirdest Superman stories is like saying Beetlejuice three times; of course Grant Morrison is going to appear. No, this isn’t about how the role of Superman might be cursed but the storyline from Action Comics 9. The story on it’s release was heavily criticised for the Barack Obama Superman (but that’s awesome). Of course Black President Superman’s archenemy would be white supremacist Lex Luthor (or the current President). But that’s all window dressing. The main focus of the story is a meta-commentary of Superman himself. 

On a parallel Earth, Lois Lane, Jimmy Olsen and Clark Kent create a fictional character with a dream machine based on an ideology so pure that it moves everyone to tears. Inspired by George Bernard Shaw and Nietzsche, they name the character Superman. Corporations deem the character unrelatable and insist that the character be changed to “Superdoom”. This monster now travels the universe trying to kill all Supermen.

The story is all about how 90’s Superman was awful and the wrongheaded ideas that ruined it. But New 52 Superman wouldn’t listen and ended up going down the same path as 90’s Superman.

Kryptonite, Magic and Rock ’N Roll

Silver-Age Superman gets a lot of slander from hipsters online. This is partially because having to write 8 Superman stories a month feels like DC just threw any idea out there and made it. But my favourite has to be from Superman’s Pal Jimmy Olsen 32, which reveals Superman’s lesser known vulnerability; Rock and Roll. Jimmy Olsen joins a band and, anytime he plays his guitar, Superman starts uncontrollably dancing.

Heroes Against Hunger

DC made a charity special teaming up Superman, Batman and Lex Luthor with profits going to charity. This is very good but could this comic have any consistency? A different creative team for each page causes a very disjointed story. In one page, Batman asks his old pal Superman to check on a plane crash with his X-Ray vision then, on the next, he’s telling Superman how much he hates him. 

The cause of famine in Africa apparently was caused by a giant green alien that feeds off of misery called “The Master”. I think it would’ve been a better idea for Warner Bros to just send African charities a big fat check.

Kryptonian Love lives

Whats the obsession with Superman’s genitals? Seriously, writers get obsessed. John Byrne proclaimed that Kryptonians reproduce asexually but then, in Action Comics 592 & 593, a Supervillain called Sleeze manipulated the 2 into making a sex tape. It’s almost as if he was proclaiming Superman might be asexual but his dick works.

Also, did you know Superman went out with a Mermaid in a wheelchair and never realised? Despite having X-Ray vision, he never once checked what was under the blanket. Quite sweet, really.

Al has nothing on his cousin when it comes to strange love interests. Comet the Super-horse isn’t Kryptonian but a cursed man who is in love with her and will revert back to being human on a full moon. “My pet has become human and is now trying to seduce me” is a unique problem for Supergirl. Supergirl’s other questionable love interest would be Brainiac 5 from the Legion of Superheroes. Brainiac 5 uses his technology to spy on her, including watching her while she sleeps. I guess he’s not so different from his ancestor who likes to look at cities in bottles. I just hope she ends up with a nice boy like Jimmy Olsen.

Here’s what you could’ve won

Did you know sometimes Warner Bros turns down bad ideas? I genuinely think Richard Donner might’ve been the last person to have a good pitch for a Superman movie. In 2001, Akiva Goldsman pitched a Batman vs Superman movie to star Colin Farrell and Jude Law (I think Jude Law would’ve made a good Man of Tomorrow). The film would be about Batman wanted to avenge the death of his wife (I guess Selina Kyle), a crime Lex Luthor framed Superman for, only for the 2 heroes realise who is actually responsible for this in act 3.

Jar Jar Abrams was competing with Zack Snyder for the Man of Steel movie and his pitch is notorious. It involved General Zod (again) and Lex Luthor as Kryptonians and Earth as a war-zone of giant robots. Superman also dies half way into the movie and gets half of his powers.

Superman Lives was to be directed by Tim Burton and was supposed to be a Dark fairytale version of Superman. Also, Lex Luthor and Brainiac become a giant spider.

George Miller pitched what if Superman turned evil and Zack Snyder copied his homework. Well, if the rumour is to be believed. The Snydercut of Justice League, which is about to be inflicted upon us after every Snyder fan promptly whinged themselves inside out, will have the revived Superman killing people for talking to Lois Lane, murdering her, becoming a servant of Darkseid and turning the earth into a wasteland. The Heroes can only stop Superman by sending the Flash back in time to give a message to Batman (explaining the dream sequence in BvS).

Outside of cinema, DC have turned down a bad Superman pitch. In 2001, Grant Morrison, Mark Waid and Mark Millar pitched a reboot of Superman. In this reboot, Lois Lane was to die from being pregnant with Superman’s baby and Lex Luthor was to become an art dealer. 

The Amazing Brainiac

Superman defeated Brainiac-13 by throwing his robotic nemesis into a sun. This vaporised Brainiac into dust. DC’s universe got rebooted and the dust started being in communication with a circus performer. The Brainiac dust increased his psychic powers, creating an all new form of Brainiac with psionic powers. 

After defeating this new form of Brainiac, his mind got implanted into Lex Luthor. However, I think the storyline got abandoned because the next appearance of Brainiac I know of has him trying to prove that the Death of Superman didn’t happen and it was all an holographic illusion. 

Superman True Brit

There is a lesser known Monty Python skit called Bicycle Repair Man, where a world of supermen is  left astounded as an ordinary Michael Palin fixes a bike. I bring this up because True Brit is cowritten by the Minister of Silly Walks himself, John Cleese. This else words comic shows what would happen if Superman was brought up in a Monty Python version of England. Everyone is obsessed with cricket, tea drinking and not making a fuss. There’s a whole lot about True Brit that defines comprehension, epitomised by this blogs proof reader seeing the alternate Superman’s Union Jack costume and his brain going ‘no’.

Bat-Theft and indifference: Superman the Animated Series

Batman the Animated Series is beloved, we all know that. Justice League is well liked and so is Static Shock. But Superman the Animated Series, is mostly deemed for “completionists only”. Why is this? You could call it the sophomore slump, but that is just an excuse. There are major problems within this version of Superman. Despite major changes to the lore, Supergirl is a better Superman show (even if some changes frustrate and confuse me). 

Batman the Animated series drew from many sources of inspiration. This is often touted as one of its great virtues, it drew from all of Bat-mythos. It drew so much inspiration it took some from Superman and gave it a lick of Bat-paint. Most obviously (and admitted by Bruce Timm) is that the look of the show is inspired by the Fleischer studios theatrical shorts from the 1940’s. Batman the Animated series’ Gotham is a mix of Tim Burton’s Gotham city (from the movies) and Fleischer’s Metropolis. It wasn’t just the visuals that got Bat-pilfered, stories did as well. Some that work better as Batman stories like the Jail-master. He works better as an antagonist for Batman because the Gotham police department and Mayor are recurring characters in the series (the only cop that is notable in Superman comics is Maggie Sawyer). “Joker’s wild” is another example of a Super-story turned Bat, in the Superman comic The Joker is mad because some business man in Metropolis is selling Joker toys without his permission. The Animated series changes it to a Gotham gangster starts a Joker themed casino which annoys the clown prince of Crime.

Some of Superman’s rogue’s gallery ended up not making the leap because of them being sloppy seconds. The Prankster is essentially every Silver-Age Batman villain, Roxy Rocket stole Terra-man’s mode of transport a giant rocket. Terra-man did later make it to Justice League Unlimited but just as a cowboy themed villain (losing both his mode of transport and eco-terrorism). Silver Banshee had a similar fate but this wasn’t because of Batman, a quote about the Disney series Gargoyles from Bruce Timm explains why she was cut. “Gargoyles it’s trying to Batman the Animated series but with lots of gay celtic mythology”. So the Irish super-villainess was cut due to Timm’s prejudices. The biggest victim of Bat-theft was Winslow Scott the Toyman. Even in the first season Toyman’s stories were being stolen from him, his gimmick was stolen in the Gray Ghost episode by a villain voiced by Bruce Timm. The Clown prince of crime got his revenge on the Toyman for stealing his place in the legion of doom (in Super Friends) by stealing the story where he kidnaps rich children. But Edward Nigma would steal more from Scott, the reimagining of the Riddler has The Toyman’s back story of a disgruntled toy designer. The Riddler’s 2nd outing in the series was ripped almost wholesale from the Toyman, with The Riddler using his fame to market Toys (something the Toyman has done many times).

Despite running for 3 Seasons many of Superman’s villains didn’t appear. Vandal Savage, The Ultra-Humanite (Superman’s first arch enemy) Mongul got introduced in the following Justice League series. Mongul’s late appearance confuses me, while a lot of Vandal Savage’s plots could move to Lex Luthor as they’re both earthbound, millionaire, evil geniuses. The Ultra-Humanite has been struggling for relevance, desperately trying to be memorable. Ironic because you’d think a super-intelligent albino gorilla would be memorable. Mongul’s first appearance was straight adaptation of Action Comics Annual from 1989 and Superman 35, with Martian Manhunter added. This storyline from the comics was the 2nd introduction of Mongul. His first introduction story did have him try and pit Superman against the Martian Manhunter but this is not the story they chose. They chose to adapt the one that is a Superman solo story. 

Batman the animated series for it’s 4th Season had its budget cut leading to all the characters being redesigned. Superman the animated series started with the lower budget. This probably lead to the mindset that if Lex Luthor could be behind it then he should, because then they wouldn’t need to design a new character and cast somebody new to voice them. So this led to; Vandal Savage, Colonel Future, The Ultra Humanite, Victor Volcanum, The Planter, Morgan Edge, the original Atomic Skull and more villains who try to defeat Superman with intricate plots not appearing. Lex Luthor is over used, he’s responsible for making Bizarro, Metallo and Parasite despite in the comics only being responsible for Bizarro. Metallo was actually improved by this change, but being voiced by Malcolm MacDowell probably didn’t hurt. However, this an oddity, in an attempt to make this series’ Harley Quinn new female characters were added and none of them lasted in the comics. The least successful was Volcana who was so forgotten that in Emperor Joker, a new fire based villainess called Scorch was created completely stealing her niche. Mercy Graves Luthor’s personal driver has her fans, and she has reappeared in Titans. But in Superman comics she had a moment, including an addition to her back story of her being a disgraced Amazon (similar to the villain Artemis). But most popular was the writer’s mouthpiece Livewire.

Livewire with the ear-grating voice of Tank-Girl herself Lori Petty, embodies my next point. The series actually hates Superman deeming him uncool, Batman the animated series never did this Batman. Livewire only does one thing and talk about how lame Superman is. This would be fine for a villain if the universe didn’t seem to back her up. The two best examples of this would be Superman saving kids and then them calling him a loser and the Maxima episode. Maxima in the comics antagonises Superman because she wants to have his baby deeming him the only man worthy of her. The Animated series version didn’t get this memo, because her episode ends with her running off with the new cool kid Lobo. Lobo was then the most popular character but now he can’t maintain an ongoing series. But how are we supposed to root for a hero if the whole series calls him a loser?

The 30 Greatest Superman Stories

An 80+ year history of constant publication Superman has amassed a lot of stories. But not all stories are created equally. With that many stories, and the current run by Brian Michael Bendis being universally hated by readers, which ones are the good ones? What are the good Superman stories and who will tell us what are the best 30. 

Fear not, good citizen! I have come to show the best ones I could find. But what of continuity, I hear you ask. Excellent question, good citizen. I have considered this and one of my ways of grading the best is the question “does this story stand alone?” (for this reason Peter J Tomasi’s recent work is not in the list). I will assume, as a baseline, that anything in the first two Christopher Reeves movies is well known and that you can work out that Brainiac is an evil space scientist.

Also, no Superman copies. Only officially released DC Stories about Superman.

30. Rocket Song/When Superman learnt to fly

Original publication: Action Comics (vol.2) 5 & 6 

Creative Team: Grant Morrison (Writer), Andy Kubert (pencils)

This story does a lot. Grant Morrison was tasked duringthe New 52 to rework the Superman mythos from the ground up. This story is easily the most Grant Morrison I’ve read, which is both a good thing and a bad thing. The story tells of the rocket’s journey to Krypton, his growing up on the farm, his time with the Legion of Superheroes, a new back story for Kryptonite and the formation of the anti-Superman army. New characters introduced are typical for Morrison’s run on Action Comics, some of which are renamed on a whim (e.g The Kryptonite man is now “K-Man”). I do prefer the new back story for Kryptonite and think it makes more sense than the classic fragments of Krypton. Your mileage will vary more on whether or not you like how Grant Morrison writes Superhero comics rather than the details of the story.

(Suggested further reading) Superboy and the Legion of Superheroes: The Early Years

Original publication: Adventure Comics 515-520 

Creative Team: Paul Levitz (writer), Kevin Sharpe (Pencils)

Is the Legion of Superheroes a separate thing? Or is it a expansion of Superman lore? I couldn’t decide so I didn’t have this one on the list even though it is worth talking about. This arc is an abridgement of the early Legion stories in a similar vein to Spider-man Blue or Secret Origins. This story arc is a useful jumping on point for anyone interested in Kal-El’s boyhood Superteam. It also focuses on the whole time travel aspect of the series and how they get around Superboy not knowing about his own future. A good read for anyone interested in Superman, Doctor Who and wants to ignore the problematic nature of Jim Shooter.

29. The Saga of Superman XX

Original publication:  Action Comics 338-339 and World’s Finest 166

Creative Team: Edmond Hamilton (Writer), Curt Swan (Artist)

Stand-alone? Yep. This is a single story about the descendent of the normal Superman as he battles his arch-enemy, Muto the Menace. Fun, Silly and Silver-age.

The story takes place thirty years before the formation of The Legion of Superheroes for anyone that interested in continuity.

28. Superman For All Seasons

Original publication: Superman For All Seasons (mini series)

Creative Team: Jeph Loeb (Writer), Tim Sale (Art)

Story-telling is not Story. This graphic novel is beautiful but lacking on story. This is more a character study of four of Superman’s supporting cast; Pa Kent, Lois Lane, Lex Luthor and Lana Lang. It’s more about seeing Superman from their different points of view. 

 

27. To Tame a Titan

Original publication: Superman Annual 1 (1987)

Creative Team: John Byrne

Yes, I admit it. I love Titano. Sure, he’s clearly inspired by King Kong. But here’s the thing. The film was about how civilised man kills his savage instincts to stay in society. So, with Superman the most civilised Man of Tomorrow, you have to make a bigger ape.

But this version of Titano has more back story, with him being a lab animal cruelly experimented on. He wants to protect Lois Lane because she stood up for him when scientists were abusing him. But Titano is a beast. He doesn’t fit into society and with his newly increased height and mass has no idea of the damage he does to his surroundings. 

Superman doesn’t want to hurt the giant ape but he can’t let him destroy Metropolis.

26. The Riddle of The Four Planets

Original publication: World’s Finest 130

Creative Team: Jerry Coleman (Writer), Jim Mooney (Art)

To quote comic book writer Marv Wolfman, “Superman in the 60’s was always just returning from a mission in space, and I always wanted to see that mission”. Well, DC heard him with this Silver-Age story. One of Batman and Superman’s few printed space adventures all about giant space-faring squids.

25. Crime Paradise

Original publication: Action Comics 101

Creative Team: Jerry Siegel (Writer), Win Mortimer (Art) 

Published shortly after World War 2, this story is significant.This story redefines Superman and has him find his post war identity. I could almost call this the first Silver-Age Superman story. This was the first time we had the “Evil Superman”, an ongoing trope of The Silver-Age. Irradiated by an Atomic Bomb, Superman becomes a vandal destroying everything in site. 

This story has Superman himself as an allegory for Nuclear weapons. In the right hands, Superman is a force for good. But, in the wrong hands, he’s the world’s biggest terror. The patriotism of the earlier era has dissolved and, instead, we have a more contemplative hero who is now questioning authority (in stark contrast to how he was portrayed in Dark Knight Returns). 

24. The Team of Luthor & Brainiac 

Original publication: Superman 167

Creative Team: Edmond Hamilton (writer), Curt Swan (Art)

Superman’s two greatest enemies team up to take him down. This story also first establishes the back story for Brainiac, making it the perfect introduction to the character. Especially as his first appearance (The Super Duel in Space by Otto Binder) has elements to Brainiac that aren’t seen in any other story, such as his pet cat. 

23. Superman: Friend or Foe

Original publication: Action Comics 551

Creative Team: Marv Wolfman (writer), Gil Kane (Art)

The genius of this comic is seconded only to it’s simplicity. Two kids in Metropolis are dying of a rare disease and the only known cure is on the other side of the world in a war-zone that no one dares to cross. The cure can not be replicated in Metropolis so Superman is the only one who can save these innocent kids as more and more obstacles get in his way.

22. The Sightless Lois Lane

Original publication: Showcase 10

Creative Team: Jerry Coleman (Writer), Wayne Boring (Art)

Part of the pilot comic that lead to the infamous series “Superman’s Girlfriend Lois Lane”. This is one of the better Lois Lane stories, free from the plots of tricking Superman into marrying her. I think this story best illustrates how much Superman cares about Lois Lane (including performing an elaborate puppet show).

21. Superman Secret Identity

Original publication: Superman: Secret Identity (Mini-series)

Creative Team: Kurt Busiek (Writer), Stuart Immonen (Art)

“Superman in the real world” is probably the easy description of this book. It’s a deconstruction but not a tedious kind that hates Superheroes. It’s about some poor shmoe who has Superman’s powers and the name Clark Kent. He hates the constant jokes about his name but he still tries to use his powers to help people. Fortunately, most people will ignore Superman flying over their head and just think it’s a figment of their imagination. 

20. Trinity

Original publication: Trinity (Mini Series)

Creative Team: Matt Wagner

I originally dismissed this as just a popcorn comic. However, I later realised that there is a lot more subtly hidden within it’s story of Ra’s Al Ghul, Bizarro and Artemis teaming up to take over the world and accidentally forming the Justice League. There is a story of how Superman inspires the other two heroes to be more trusting and better people.

19 Krypton Dies Again

Original publication: Action Comics 489-491

Creative Team: Cary Bates (Writer), Curt Swan (Art)

The evilness of Brainiac in this story is to be admired. Forcing Superman to watch the destruction of his home planet, just to see what will happen.

18. Return to Krypton

Original publication: Action Comics 600 & Superman 18

Creative Team: John Byrne (writer), Mike Mignola (Art)

Action Comics 600 contains 3 stories in it. The first two are about Superman and Wonder Woman teaming up. This issue ended the era of Action Comics being Superman’s team up book. But the better story is the one that leads into Superman 18. Superman is losing control, breaking down and crying in a cave where he is found by Man-Bat. A subversion of ideas where the mutated being is comforting the hero later leads to a team up with Hawkman and Hawkwoman. 

The second part of the story is the titular return to Krypton with the whole planet being Kryptonite. This was the cause of Superman’s breakdown. While exploring the planet in a lead-lined spacesuit, Superman hallucinates. He imagine’s what would’ve happened if the Kryptonians had listened to his father Jor-El and left their dying planet. He imagines them trying to enslave the inhabitants of earth and Jor-El becoming the Saviour leading a resistance against his own people.

17. The Saga of the D.N.Aliens

Original publication: Superman’s Pal Jimmy Olsen 133-138

Creative Team: Jack Kirby

This story might be remembered for being the first appearance of Darkseid but it has a greater merit to it. There are two layers to it. The first is its plot about experimentation with cloning. The second is the relationship between Superman and Jimmy Olsen. The two are in conflict but neither one is the bad guy. It’s more a failure to communicate, Jimmy thinks Superman is holding him back and Superman is just looking out for his pal knowing that Morgan Edge has lead Jimmy into a trap. 

16. Strange Visitor

Original publication: The Adventures of Superman (vol.2) 16

Creative Team: Joe Keatridge (Writer), Mike Doyle, Brent Schnoover, David Williams, Tula Latoya, Jason Shawn Alexander and Jon Bogdanove 

The Adventures of Superman Volume 3 is easily one of the most enjoyable Superman series. This is just one example of a story from the series. The mix of Silver-Age concepts with modern art and storytelling devices shows the timelessness of the character. This one is about a rocket ship that mysteriously disappears.

15. Must There be a Superman?

Original publication: Superman 247

Creative Team: Elliot S Maggin (Writer), Curt Swan (Art)

Do we need Superman or does his help hinder our progress? The Guardians of Oa ask Superman this very question and we learn Zack Snyder is wrong.

14. Superman: Unchained

Original publication: Superman Unchained (Mini series)

Creative Team: Scott Snyder (Writer), Jim Lee and Dustin Nyugen (Art)

With a rewrite, this would be in the top 5 but DC won’t let us have nice things. There are a lot of good elements to this but a few bad decisions (particularly at the end) ruin this story.

This story could almost be a masterclass in how to use Lex Luthor. It also features Superman battling the alien responsible for the destruction of Nagasaki. Superman solves his problems with his Super-intelligence and his powers while the military question his motives. General Lane calls Superman a coward because he won’t be the Armies weapon. Yet, despite being under this accusation, Superman sticks to his morals and remains a hero for the whole world. But it’s not just the U.S Military Superman has to deal with. A group of luddites called the Ascension want to destroy all technology.

SPOILERS Sounds good but the last issue ruins everything with an out of nowhere revelation that Clark killed someone as a teen and a un-rebuted monologue from Lex Luthor about how “Superman doesn’t stand for anything”. These are both completely unneeded and ruin a very good Superman story, especially as Lex’s monologue is to Lois Lane and Jimmy Olsen, both of whom should reply with “You don’t understand Lex. You never will because you’ve only ever thought about yourself”. I think Scott Snyder didn’t want to alienate his edge lord fans or DC have no idea how such things sour the perceptions of their great hero.

13. The World of Krypton

Original publication: The World of Krypton Mini Series 

Creative Team: John Byrne (Writer), Mike Mignola (Art) 

From the creative team that created Hellboy, this is a work of beauty. Mignola in the first part gets to show off his rarely seen Moebius influences to show the peaceful utopia that was Superman’s homeworld. Of course, the history of Krypton is not all peaceful poetry recitals. Explaining the Kryptonian clone-war (which would inadvertently destroy the planet) and how Kryptonians reproduce asexually, this explains what motivates Superman to be a hero and the influence his father’s genes have on him. Jor-El is Krypton’s last romantic and his son is following in his father’s footsteps.

12. The Boy of Steel

Original publication: Adventure Comics 0-3, 5&6 and Superman Secret Files 2009

Creative Team: Geoff Johns (writer), Francis Manapul (Art)

We’ve all seen in cartoons the idea of an Angel and Devil on somebodies shoulder. Well, Connor has that in his DNA. As the clone of Superman and Lex Luthor, he has the DNA of a hero and a criminal.

This story is all about how Connor wants to be like Superman and reject his other DNA. But, as the story continues, we find out how rotten Lex Luthor is to the core. Connor even debunks Lex’s claim “that he could be a hero if it wasn’t for Superman”.  

11. Fortress

Original publication: Adventures of Superman (vol.2) 1 

Creative Team: Jeff Lemire

Adult fans have forgotten what Superman’s really about so here are 2 kids who get it. (The shortest story on the list probably deserved the shortest analysis).

10. Emperor Joker

Original publication: Superman 160-161, Adventures of Superman 582-583, Superman: The Man of Steel 104-105, Action Comics 769-770 and Emperor Joker 1

Creative Team: Jeph Loeb, Joe Kelly, J.M DeMatteis, Mark Schultz and Yll Ekeoj (as Writers), Doug Mahnke, Ed McGuiness Mike Miller, Onak, Duncan Rouleau, Todd Nauck, Carlo Barberi, Scott McDaniel, EMC2 and Kano (as Artists)

Superman has gone sane in a world gone mad! Perfect tagline. In the world of Emperor Joker, rationality and scientific reason have been banned as the Clown Prince of Crime rebuilds the world to his design after stealing the powers of Mr Mxzptlkz. The story itself is a tongue-in-cheek tribute to the Silver Age, with references to Jimmy Olsen becoming a Turtle-man and an appearance by the Legion of SuperPets. If you’re not an expert on Superman comics, that might actually work to this stories advantage because its all about the world being weird. 

What I want to know is this; why haven’t DC Animated made a version of this yet? The actual book is a little disjointed with a lot happening of panel (in a weird way, this can actually help the comic). But an animation team working on a straight to DVD movie van fix it. (Yes, I am aware there is an episode of Batman, the Brave and the Bold called Emperor Joker but its a flimsy abridgement).

9. The Man of Steel

Original publication: Man of Steel (Mini-Series)

Creative Team: John Byrne

Lots of Mini-series exist retelling the early days of Superman and this is the first to make a concise version. Geoff John’s Secret Origin is more a ticked off list of things he wanted to reintroduce and Mark Waid’s Birthright borrows too much from the Richard Donner movie. Lets not even mention the terminal stinkers that are Frank Miller’s Year One or Max Landis’ American Alien (because neither of those understand who Superman or Clark Kent are).

John Byrne’s mini series is all about Superman’s firsts, each issue is a different first. When he first left Smallsville. When he first met Lois Lane, Lex Luthor and Batman. The first time he fought a Supervillain who was as powerful as him (Bizarro). When he first found out he was an alien.

This is the set up for Byrne’s era where he “Marvellised” the series. The tropes and writing conventions of his 22 issues of Superman, 18  issues Action Comics and this mini-series practically scream Marvel. Superman fights a supervillain and an ongoing soap opera narrative happens in the background. Byrne is a lifelong comic fan who made a name for himself at Marvel and this mini-series reflects both these passions from him.

8. The Champion of the Oppressed

Original publication: Action Comics 1

Creative Team: Jerry Siegel (Writer), Joe Shuster (Artist)

The very first Superman Comic and it tells you exactly who he is. Of course, it’s the oldest on this list but it’s still one of the best. This story doesn’t hold back and it shows you exactly why Superman is the ultimate hero.

7. For the Man who has Everything

Original publication: Superman Annual 11 (1985)

Creative Team: Alan Moore (Writer), Dave Gibbons (Art)

The creative team behind Watchmen also made this classic. Superman has the fortress of Solitude filled with amazing treasures from around the world, the powers of a demigod and loyal friends. So what could he possibly want? Well, the answer is that he wants to belong. This idea was tackled by Jack Kirby in the latter half of his Jimmy Olsen run and also in Forever People, with Superman’s search for Super-Town (which turned out to be New Genesis). Superman is lonely on earth being the only person with his powers and what he really wants is a world that doesn’t need him to be Superman.

6. JLA: Age of Wonder

Original publication: JLA Age of Wonder (Mini Series)

Creative Team: Adisakdi Tantimedh (Writer), P. Craig Russell and Galen Showman (Art)

This is a Superman Elseworld story done right. There aren’t actually many. A lot of Elseworld’s don’t stick to their key premise. You’re supposed to change very few things and see how that effects the DC Universe. This changes one thing; what if DC’s heroes first emerged in the 1890’s. Red Son, in contrast, changes a lot from Themyscira’s relationship to the world, how Green Lantern rings work and how Krypton was destroyed (which causes many plot-holes in the story).

Superman and Lex Luthor start working for Thomas Edison as inventors, but with their skills and genius feeling under appreciated. Lex and Clark start their own company with Nikola Tesla. A science accident happens in their lab and Barry Allan becomes the Flash. The Waynes meet Superman at a charity ball and their son Bruce tells him that he wants to be an inventor like Clark. The Waynes are murdered by Luddites and Bruce swears revenge.

This 2 issue mini-series is a hidden gem. More JLA members get involved, all of whom get “downdated?” to fit the time, including versions of Plastic Man, Green Lantern and Wonder Woman, whilst also staying consistent with their DC universe counterparts. And, of course, Lex Luthor turns evil when Lois Lane rejects him in favour of Clark Kent. 

5. Superman vs The Elite

Original publication: Animated Movie (based on Action Comics 775)

Creative Team: Joe Kelly (writer), Michael Change (Director), Hiroshi Nitta (Art Direction)

What’s so funny about Truth, Justice and The American Way? Superman vs The Elite is a great expansion of the original comic, improving on the original by Superman trying more than one method to correct the contract killers posing as heroes. The original comic suffers from being overly compressed but, in an animated movie, it has more breathing room. Maybe swapping out a giant monkey with a gun for the Atomic Skull is a downgrade in my opinion. However, both iterations have Superman showing the edgy new heroes (who are just terrorists) that his values are right. Superman may have to use their methods to show that terrorism is not the answer but some people deserve a taste of their own medicine.

4. Man and Superman

Original publication: Man and Superman (One Shot)

Creative Team: Marv Wolfman (writer), Claudio Castellini

Do you ever feel like you’re not living up to your own potential? Superman does in this story. He wants to help but he doesn’t quite know how. This Superman is philosophising over what is right and wrong. He stumbles, he makes mistakes, he’s human. He’s Superman, he’s not called demi-god. But what is important about Superman is that he tries to do good. Superman is not as perfect as he tries to look and this is set in the early days in his career. Also, Superman gives a lecture in this book that perfectly identifies his ideologies. It’s so magnificent, it gives me chills. The story is open-ended, which left me feeling slightly unsatisfied reading this, but the open end is to allow all the other Superman stories to exist.

Marv Wolfman claims this is the best Superman story he’s ever written but… 

3. All Star Superman

Original publication: All Star Superman (Mini Series)

Creative Team: Grant Morrison (Writer), Frank Quietly

I can hear the cries of sacrilege from everyone now. All Star Superman made me a Superman fan. I didn’t like the character before reading this book and from there, I wanted to read all the adventures. I was first turned onto the book from being a fan of Grant Morrison. I read it and was blown away. For a long time, this was what I thought the pinnacle of comic book stories was.

All Star is unlike any other Superman story. It takes elements from all era’s and distills it into one story. This story is different. It’s about Superman dying. The book masters mixed emotions with the joy of Superman doing 12 great labours before his death (a nod to Hercules). But the muted colour scheme gives an air of sadness, reminding us that Superman is doomed. 

I don’t want to say anymore about it other than read it.

2. Superman Smashes The Klan/Superman the Spy/ The Clan of the Fiery Cross

Original publication: Superman Smashes the Klan 1-3, Real life and The Adventures of Superman (radio series)

Creative Team: Gene Luen Yang (writer),Gurihiru (Art) Bud Collyer and the Anti Defamation League

After World War 2 and the constant threat of Nazi’s had finished, Bud Collyer wanted new enemies for Superman to fight on his radio show. Hearing about this, the Anti-Defamation League reached out to him and suggested that they do a story based on the findings of a spy they had placed into the Ku Klux Klan. The mainstream news media had refused to cover the story. So, with the ADL wanting to expose the KKK, they took a long shot with Bud. Collyer bought the idea and the radio serial “The Clan of the Fiery Cross” was written and produced. The Klan hated this, going so far as to disbar any member of the Klan who bought Kellogs cereal (the sponsors of the Adventures of Superman). The world didn’t know what the Klan really was until a radio play with Superman denouncing them as racist hate-mongers was made. That is how Superman in the real world told the world of the threat of the Klan. What’s Batman done that was anything like that?

Now, Superman Smashes the Klan is a comic book adaptation of this arc from the radio series but Gene Luen Yang has added to it. Yang has viewed Superman as an immigrant with his desire to belong in conflict with his desire to embrace his heritage. In this story, Superman doesn’t know how to fly until he learns to embrace his culture. Also, Jimmy Olsen asks a Klan member “Do you know how ridiculous you look with a pillow case on your head”.

1. If Superman Didn’t Exist

Original publication: Action Comics 554

Creative Team: Marv Wolfman (writer), Gil Kane (Art)

At long last, we’re at number 1. When I read this, I knew it was the one. For it to have appeared in an unassuming issue of Action Comics is astounding but it happened. This story has Superman erased from the universe by Vandal Savage. Not just Superman but everything he stands for. It’s imagining earth not just without Superman but without the archetypes that lead to him. Humans are cowards living in mud-huts, scowling at their neighbours for being different, unmotivated to invent anything new and stubbornly set in their ways. 

This story is about how dreaming will save the world, how the imagination of Jerry Siegel and Joe Shuster inspires people to be better. Imagination is a much better commodity than cynicism and this Superman story spells out why.