Why Telltale is the definitive Batman?!

Batman! easily DC’s most popular character, his logo can be seen on wide-eyed children’s backpacks and cynical Generation X-ers alike. The character has changed to the tastes of audiences through out the decades. Batman has been the aspiring fascist dictator of Frank Miller’s comics. The apologist for the patriot act in Nolan trilogy and the stoic champion for justice with Kevin Conroy’s voice for DC Animated Universe. The erudite backroom brawler of the Adam West series and the overdramatic showman of the Burton films. He’s made puns while written by Neal Adams and insisted he works alone in the 90’s whilst being in The Justice League.

Batman doesn’t have a personality anymore, every reader’s Batman is different. Fans ascribe a personality to Bruce Wayne, cherry-picking the media and actions they want for “their Batman” because of this creative teams can create a ripple through the Bat-community with their decisions writing the character, one example would be Bruce Timm whose idea of Batman is god’s gift to women and the only member of the Justice League who can save the day on their own. Timm wrote a prequel to Batman Beyond where he revealed that the Bat-family broke apart because Barbara Gordon and Bruce Wayne were having an affair leaving Dick Grayson feeling dejected. Some fans think it’s creepy that a man in his early 40’s was having an affair with a 19 year old, some dislike that Bruce Wayne could be such a lying manipulator and others think it’s just awesome that Batman shags so much. 

The truth about Batman is that he’s a Mary Sue, but this only seems to be brought up as a problem when it’s a female character. Batman isn’t just a Mary Sue he’s the Mariest Sue to ever Mary a Sue. Everything comes easily to him, quantum mechanics he can learn that in a night he’s in tip-top physical condition. He can even be such a jerk that he can commit acts of child abuse (yes actually think about what he did to Jason Todd) but still be allowed in the super boy-scouts floating clubhouse in space.  

Now these are all usually problems with a character, no consistency and creepy creative teams drooling over them so hard you suspect they need to wear his cowl to get an erection. Telltales format of game actually makes these a strength because you can’t make a choice thats out of character for him, and you can make him whatever kind of Batman you want. There are of course limitations to this you can’t choose between Burton’s Art-Deco Gotham or Dick Sprang’s Gotham where every factory has a giant fully functioning version of what they make on the roof. You’re also limited in how much you want to work alone as Batman because you can’t drop in Robin to help you punch criminals. You also can’t pick which villains you want in each storyline so you have to stick with the obnoxious pseudo marxist Penguin the developers created. But your character of Bruce Wayne is exactly as Brutal or Merciful as you choose. You can have him try to seduce as many reporters as you like, have him distrust Jim Gordon and be as rude to Alfred as you like as the story unfolds.  

The philosophy of Legion (according to K Ben on Comics)

I have nothing but respect for Wisecrack, in fact I would even site them as an influence on my style of blogging (other video essayists I would honour in the way being Nerdsync and Lindsay Ellis). But they recently published a video on the TV show Legion looking for the core philosophy of the series, and I think they missed this so I thought I would write a piece all about what I believe the shows message was.

So what is the Philosophy of FX’s Legion; that hatred and cruelty create more hatred and cruelty so be kind. Which I think is suspiciously like the philosophy of The X-men, funny that it’s almost like they’re connected. 

SPOILERS AHEAD!!! Why did you open this if you haven’t watched the show?

Legion is the story of David Haller, recovery drug-addict, misdiagnosed paranoid schizophrenic and unreliable narrator. When the series opens David is in an asylum being tortured by Lenny and crushing on Syd, both of whom at this point may or may not exist as David is the only person in the asylum who they talk to. By the second episode of the series David has been recruited into a para-military mutant team with Syd (now confirmed to be a real woman), and as the first season wraps up we find out than Lenny is actually the Shadow-king a powerful mutant wanting revenge on David’s father (at this point implied but not confirmed to be Professor Charles Xavier) for defeating him in psychic combat when David was still a baby. Over the first two seasons David grows to be a better person and even by the end of the second season he has defeated the Shadow-king in an astral duel choreographed to Behind Blue Eyes by The Who, and at the moment David is winning in the duel is the verse that includes “If I swallow anything evil” and “If I shiver give me a blanket” both of which being admissions of wanting help. The second series wasn’t all happy sailing for David as a future version of Syd told of how he would bring about the apocalypse, this sowing seeds of distrust towards David which lead them to believe without question that he raped Syd, ignoring completely that the Shadow-king an immensely powerful and manipulative telepath capable to creating illusions could’ve faked this to get revenge.

At the beginning of the 3rd season, the Not X-men have teamed up with the Shadow-King to stop David who has started a cult full of lost hippies that get high of the bottled love pheromone he produces with his mind. The Not X-men then try to stop David and he has them all join him in a version of What’s so Funny about Peace, Love and Understanding by Elvis Costello (this is of course somewhat hypocritical of David as from being hounded by the “Heroes” he vaporised all of his cult and his ex-girlfriend). The remaining episodes are mostly about David trying to travel back in time to prevent his life going wrong, which we know could be successful or fail miserable as Episode 14 which was part of Season 2 also showed alternate version of David one of which he was a business man who used his telepathy to get ahead and another timeline he was a homeless drug addict. 

After being vaporised Syd’s mind is now found on the Astral Plane (a world that exists purely as thought and metaphor) but now as a baby and is given a second childhood raised by two other lost minds acting as her parents. They also take in another lost girl who gets seduced away from their fairy tale lifestyle by the Big Bad wolf, a psychic entity who can be best described as an edge-lord. The kind of guy who makes an unfunny racist joke and thinks it’s the best joke ever because it will offend “libtards”. He is of course defeated in a Rap Battle by her adopted father who defeats him with a verse about how “puppies aren’t afraid of me” and “he gets more hugs than hate mail” with the finishing blow of “I sleep well at night knowing people love me, can you say that”. 

The final episodes of Legion have David in the past, on the days when his father met Amahl Farouk (better known as the Shadow King) and trying to ensure his father defeats him in a way that won’t allow him to escape. Of course the Not X-men and present time Amahl Farouk make it to this time as well. Syd and another member of their team protect Baby David and his mother, because during her time in the Astral Plane Syd has realised that Baby David is innocent. Whilst still believing current David might be a lost cause but that baby has done nothing wrong, his future isn’t determined. The Telepaths duel, David and Past Amahl Farouk duel with all their powers, but Charles and Future Farouk sit down and talk. Charles and Future Amahl reach an agreement, so David’s life will not be destroyed. The Shadow King shows his past self psychically his future and he realises not even he should be that cruel. David and his mother sings Mother by Pink Floyd but with it recontextualised. To be about how she will protect her son rather than how she will stifle him with paranoia. 

We end with the versions of Syd and David that we knew ceasing to exist and being erased so that new better ones can take their place, a rebirth and this time for David without somebody trying to make him miserable.

Of course Legion could also just be a story, to quote the first season “there are two sorts of stories, those created to keep us safe… and those created to teach empathy” but even with what it says about the nature of stories, empathy is a form of kindness.

But even if I’m wrong about Noah Hawley’s series, I got a positive message from the show and loved the story he told so I’m better off being wrong on this one.

Explaining Happy! (And Grant Morrison)

What is “Happy!”, well take the Jimmy Stewart classic Harvey, How the Grinch Stole Christmas, any Quentin Tarrantino movie and a heap of commentary on the state of Superhero comics, filter it though the views and philosophies of Grant Morrison and thats “Happy!”. 

So brief synopsis of the book and the Syfy (or in the UK Netflix) series. Happy! is the story of Nick Sax (whose name should really be spelt Sacks to keep with the Christmas theme of the story), a disgraced cop turned mercenary and high functioning alcoholic and drug addicts reconnecting with his estranged daughter (Hailey) by rescuing her from being molested by “Very Bad Santa” whose been hired to do such things by the mob as revenge for Sax killing an extra family member (he was hired to kill 3 and killed 4). The bonus one having made a deal with Mr Blue (the main gangster) to split the money they where hiding between them, but with him dead, Blue has no access to his ill-gotten gains. Sax’s only ally in rescuing his daughter from not so jolly Saint Nick is Happy a blue horse and Hailey’s imaginary friend. Happy is 1-2-3-4-5 grades higher than a hallucination but only Sax can see him, Happy is also in stark contrast to Sax. Happy is everything you’d expect a child’s imaginary friend to be, loving, caring and very excitable. Now as Happy was originally published as a 4 Issue mini-series by image comics for a full length TV series things had to be added, unlike many other adaptations Grant Morrison did write the pilot episode and the finale of Season 1 and only the opener to Season 2. Additions to the book include Sunny Shine a prima-donna children’s TV presenter who owes his success to aiding in organised crime and a pact with the “Wishees” (another addition from the book) parodies of the Teletubbies that are secretly Lovecraftian elder gods that feed off of misery.

Now nothing by Grant Morrison is just a story, Morrison writes about his own life in a distorted way. He uses a method that he calls a “Fiction suit” to incorporate himself into the story; in Animal Man he became the character the writer, in the Invisibles he was King Mob, in All Star Superman he was Lex Luthor, during his run of X-men he was Professor X and in Happy he is Sax. Other people also get fiction-suited into his stories, Mark Millar was Kid Omega in his run on X-men and Morrison’s father was Flex Mentallo (in his eponymous series) and Superman in All Star Superman. In Happy! very bad Santa is Frank Miller and Alan Moore. Very Bad Santa only exists to pervert and distort something innocent and harm children, much like how these two started the Dark age of comics which lead Superhero comics to become more dour and depressing and Hailey is the innocent children who won’t look up to Superman or the Flash because they read Watchmen or any piece of crap written by Frank Miller. Even though Miller and Moore have drastically different political views (Moore being an Anarchist and Miller being an Anti-Feminist and self proclaimed Fascist) they both created comics intended to be deconstructions of Superheroes but are really just Adolescent trash that think they’re deep. Now Sax is no saint and Morrison in his post-Marvel work is more reflective and realising that he is also guilty of this but Sax like Morrison changes his way in the story and does what he can to protect his daughter even if Sax had abandoned her before she was born. Mr Blue is of course the editorial staff of DC (in the series he’s played by an actor who looks a lot like Brian Azzarello a contemporary comic book writer who worships and tries to emulate both Moore and Miller whenever he can), and DC seem to have sold their core audience of wide-eyed innocent children who aspire to be Superheroes for Miller and Moore fanboys. DC’s practice can also be described as predatory, a very good example of this is Harley Quinn, Harley was an innocent character with the mind of a child and the victim of the Joker but now she’s a fetish, licking phallic objects like baseball bats and sleeping with all the male heroes when they guest star in her comic.

What about Happy the eponymous character, how does he fit into all this criticism of DC comics. Well he doesn’t, Grant Morrison has certain theories about how the universe works. Happy is 5 grades above a Hallucination because he’s from the Fifth Dimension. Now stay with me on this, humans are fourth dimensional beings, we can fully perceive four dimensions (height, width, breadth and time), Comic book characters are one dimension below us, which puts them at the mercy of Four Dimensional beings, writers and artists craft their whole world, we change how they act on a whim, this is how Batman can be both Adam West and the version from Dark Knight Returns. His whole personality is defined by his creative team, he can be an angry loner or be part of a team of super pals. Now beings from the Fifth Dimension can affect us, but we can’t perceive them just like how Spider-man has no idea that Stan Lee is making him fight Doctor Octopus again. When we come across beings from the fifth dimension we can only imagine what they are and handily the fifth Dimension is to us Imagination. With Imagination we can create new worlds but we can’t exist in them we’re stuck with the four we have, to master imagination is to become akin to godhood. Happy as an imaginary friend is created by Hailey through the Fifth Dimension (which is imagination) and has become a native to that world, and with this he is all powerful but due to him being made by a child has no grasp of his powers (these ideas where alluded to in the second season of the TV series) and while Happy is a benevolent Fifth Dimension inhabitant others like the Wishees are not so nice and only wish to mock and toy with lesser beings on our plane of existence.

And if you can wrap your head around all that well done you now understand most of Grant Morrison’s back catalogue.

Fixing the Stan Lee Girls

Fixing the Stan Lee Girls

Comics from the 1960’s weren’t enlightened on their portrayal of women. It’s just a fact, no two ways about it. Sure it was a genre aimed at young boys written and drawn almost exclusively by men, but under a modern lens the early Marvel comics don’t hold up very well in this regard. To quote Professor Marsden when asked to weaken Wonder Woman (his creation) “How are young boys to grow up to respect women if we don’t show them examples of strong women”. Now the Stan Lee girl is a variant on how women (who weren’t Wonder Woman) where written in this era. The Stan Lee girl is young glamorous and has all the personality of day old dish water but is also very important to the male protagonist(s) of the Superhero book. Not all characters that fit this mould are Stan Lee creations, like Saturn Girl from the Legion of Superheroes or Elasti-Girl from the Doom Patrol, but Stan and his tendency to put his name on every book produced by Marvel (even if he had nothing to do with it) makes him synonymous with the trope.

Now that’s explained why not continue reading this as I explain how 4 of Stan’s creations became well actual characters not just “oh gosh isn’t she pretty”. I will not explore every female character that has a Stan Lee creator credit or I’d be writing a 200 part piece on the subject and Black Widow has been omitted because she wasn’t actually created by Stan and in no way fits the profile being first introduced as Iron Man’s Archenemy and not his love interest.

Sue Storm

The first woman of Marvel Comics (assuming the Fantastic Four haven’t lost their status as the First Family) and master of running away. Sue in the early comics is really good at getting kidnapped, especially by Doctor Doom or Namor. She brings antagonists to the Fantastic Four, while Doctor Doom uses her as bait for the other 3 members of the team out of convenience, Namor is to be the other rival to her husband Reed Richards. Prince Namor tries to lure her to be his queen, always unsuccessfully, because for her to be actually tempted to turn evil would imply some form of personality. Susan is actually so notoriously useless that in a weird Meta issue (Fantastic Four 11) the F4 read letters sent to them by “Fans” and Sue bursts into tears because all the letters get call her useless. This of course outrages Mr Fantastic who invokes the name of Abraham Lincoln to defend his future wife. 

Fantastic Four 22 is when the attempts to make Sue better started, before this issue Sue could only turn invisible and hide, this issue gave her the comics code classic Telekinesis. Telekinesis is one of the girliest superpowers in comics (not that it’s effeminate but it’s mostly held by female characters) because it can easily adhere to Comics Code Authority guidelines about violence between men and women. The female hero using Telekinesis can fight back without actually hitting the super villain or henchman and with this at least Sue could fight back and didn’t need her sign saying “kidnap me” as much anymore, although Dr Doom might still do that because “expediency often outweighs originality”. 

Sue’s next biggest developments were marriage and motherhood. Side note it’s officially canon that their son Franklin was conceived after the first time the F4 saved the earth from Galactus which makes me ask the question after the earth was safe did Mr Fantastic give The Thing and The Human Torch some of their pocket money to go the cinema. But the change from teams eye-candy and damsel in distress to motherhood really suited Sue as she pretty much filled that role in the team anyway. The Fantastic Four are a squabbling family who often fall out and Sue is the under appreciated peace-keeper and emotional support for the boys. With Franklin added well she just has another child to look after but this one shouldn’t know better than to be an immature show-boater, I’m looking at you Johnny Storm. 

Sue’s last real moment of characters development comes from Fantastic Four 280, where the villainous Psycho-man (kind of an obvious villain name), turns Sue into Malice; Mistress of Hate. Now with a name like that she’s obviously an enemy to the rest of the Fantastic Four who she proceeds to beat the snot out of (once and for all proving she is actually the strongest member) which to many fanboys is the most important thing. But this has to end abruptly by Mr Fantastic realising its Sue and declaring “Susan stop acting hystericaly” which somehow (plot contrivance) snaps her back into her old self.

The Wasp (Janet Van Dine)

Unlike most female characters from silver-age Marvel, Jan started with some semblance of a personality. She was the plucky rich girl who was Hank Pym’s fan-girl and really wanted to join him on his scientific adventures. Jan seemingly relegated to the sidekick role by the virtue of being a female character even if Ant-man was dependent on her because she paid for all of his scientific equipment. But I’m ignoring the elephant in the room, their relationship is just the fucking worst. Panel to panel all these 2 do as a couple is squabble, Stan Lee once while tried to decipher why Ant-man was never a colossal hit like The Hulk or Spider-man. Now I’m going to go out on a limb and say young boys reading their superhero comics for a little escapism from their parents arguing don’t want to read about the male hero in the comic declare “Get in the kitchen” and his girlfriend/sidekick say “no I bought the kitchen you go in it”.

The lack of popularity lead to the cancellation of all Ant-man books and the duo became stalwarts of The Avengers where they kept trying to rebrand Ant-man because “he has a silly name” so he took on names like Black Goliath (despite being neither African American or wearing Black) Giant-man and finally after a mental breakdown Yellowjacket. Dr Pym became the joke of the team and his team mates often made fun of his mental instability and the fact that Jan was better at superheroing than him. In a last ditch effort to stay on the worst Superhero team of all time (1970’s Avengers are just terrible) Dr Pym created a fake Ultron attack that would prove his worth. This is when the infamous slap panel comes from (the slap is actually an artistic flub and was intended that he pushed her out of the way). After this incident Hank and Jan divorced (despite the fact they never should’ve gotten married in the first place), and also Jan became the leader of the Avengers and while she occasionally stumbled with her confidence she lead the team admirably even if she did keep changing costume every other issue because she was a “fashionista”.  

Scarlet Witch

First appearing in the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants, Wanda was manipulated by Magneto’s magnetic personality (not a joke actual reason), into joining his terrorist organisation. This is a strange trend that still exists with female villains, Marvel did it with Medusa when she had amnesia and joined the Frightful Four and DC currently have the Cheetah (Wonder Woman’s Archenemy) being manipulated into crimes by Lex Luthor. Comic writers have this strange idea that women can’t be mastermind villains, they have to be arm candy to the big bad, female villains are still rare even when they’re not arm candy, Batman’s Poison Ivy is often portrayed as more of an Anti-hero than a true terrorist or Catwoman as a criminal with a heart of gold. 

Scarlet Witch and her brother Pietro (aka Quicksilver) where rescued from their life of crime by Captain America who had them enter his new team (the second ever line up of Avengers) nicknamed Cap’s Crazy Quartet with the fourth member being former Iron Man villain Hawkeye. As time went on Wanda stopped spending so much time telling her brother “the whole world doesn’t hate you” despite the fact he is a complete and total jerk. Avengers and the few X-men comics she appeared in focused more on her bizarre back story and this is truly a sign of gender equality because most of the male Superhero characters don’t have much in the way of personality traits but they have extensive adventures.

Wanda’s history includes being raised by a mutated Cow named Bova (with her brother), previously mentioned manipulations by Magneto, training under Agatha Harkness in witchcraft, marrying a robot, being unable to have children with a robot, magicking up her own babies (that turned out to be demons), blowing up Avenger’s mansion, rewriting all of reality, travelling back in time and being persecuted for witchcraft, getting engaged to Doctor Doom and a search to find out who her father is. With all that, it’s not surprising that she hasn’t developed a personality, with that much back story you try having some hobbies.

Gwen Stacy

How did modern Marvel fix Gwen Stacy? They created a whole new character of course. Gwen’s initial storyline was a love triangle with Peter Parker (secretly Spider-man) and Mary Jane. Mary Jane was the more fun of the two girls, she was a party girl, she was the hip cool one who talked in Jazz lingo while being completely oblivious to the fact her name was a slang term for Cannabis (but what do you expect this was a funhouse mirror look at youth culture written by a middle-aged man to an audience of 13 year olds). Gwen was a more quiet studious girl whose ideal evening was curled up on the sofa with a good book and drinking hot coco. Marvel’s writers wanted to end the love triangle but they couldn’t have the notoriously indecisive Peter pick between one of them, so the next logical choice was made to have her be dropped off a bridge by the Green Goblin.

Gwen was now treated as a what if to Marvel writers, whenever Peter was too down on his luck or fighting with Mary Jane something might happen to bring Gwen back. Most notably her Biology teacher cloning her in an attempt to get revenge on Spider-man (yes it is as confusing as it sounds).

In the 21st Gwen was made cool, the drummer in an all girl punk rock band, with a cool new costume. The Spider-Gwen comics actually make you realise something about Spider-man comics which is we only care about Peter Parker because he is Spider-man.

Explaining the DC Multiverse

So what is a Multiverse, why does DC have one and why am I explaining it? Well let me explain the last part first and the spend the rest of the blog answering the other two. I find that Superhero comics have a lot of aspects to them that may not be easy for newcomers to grasp and I want to do my part to help people get and understand comics, especially as Superheroes are extremely popular but comic books are still seen as the scary artefacts that only a high priest (or complete weirdo) can comprehend and hoard. 

Multiverses are a hot topic in popular culture nowadays with Rick and Morty almost exclusively revolving around the concept, but where does it come from. Erwin Schrodinger came up with the theory and presented it to an audience in Dublin in 1952, but he called it “The many world theory”. This idea inspired many Sci-Fi writers to have different Parallel Universes that can interact with our own and is surprising well respected and looked into by actual scientists. I once saw Neil Degrasse Tyson in a Documentary claim that some Physicists think thats what Dark Matter (which makes up the majority of the universe) is actually the space other realities take up. Like all advanced physics it has yet to be completely proven, but this has never stopped writers from using it, most versions of a Multiverse work on the idea of infinite universes with infinite possibilities (this is the model that Rick and Morty and Marvel Comics use) DC has a specific set of rules including a finite number of universes. 

DC First introduced the concept of the Multiverse in The Flash 123 “The Flash of Two Worlds” in 1961 where the new younger Silver-Age Flash was transported to the Earth of the Golden Age (earlier) Flash Jay Garrick. From then onwards DC’s history was split between Earth ONE (the newer prime universe of Barry Allan) and Earth TWO (The one with all the old guard in it). This lead to a slight problem, DC had relaunched many of their heroes into new personas like the new Green Lantern- Hal Jordan and an Alien Hawkman, but many of their heroes never left publication and interacted with the new heroes in the Justice League (the relaunch of The Justice Society). DC chose to not address this, which is why if you look up the first appearance of the Earth ONE version of Aquaman, Wonder Woman or Green Arrow it’s just a random story not an official first story (Green Arrow’s is even the second part of a story),but if you must have a logical first appearance of these characters I would go for The Brave And The Bold 28 (the first appearance of the Justice League as crossover stories where very rare at this time). Alternatively if you’re a real pedant you can pick Justice League 12 a prequel comic tells how the Justice League was formed, spoiler alert it was to stop an alien who tried to turn them all (Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, Green Lantern, The Flash, Aquaman and The Martian Manhunter) into trees. Of course as their flagship heroes Batman and Superman have a logical first appearance, Superman 76 a story that tells of the first time they met, a week when no crimes at all where committed in Gotham City and Commissioner Gordon insisted that Batman goes on holiday, so Bruce Wayne goes on a cruise that is taken over by Terrorists that capture Lois Lane who was reporting on the launch of the cruise for the Daily Planet. 

After Flash 123 turned out to be a success DC had a nearly annual tradition of having a “Crisis” storyline where 2 or more earth’s collide. The alternate earths had one of two purposes either to be a wacky what-if scenario (different from DC’s staple of the Imaginary tale like “What if Lex Luthor killed Superman”), like Earth THREE which was filled with the Justice League’s evil counterparts and had the lone hero of Alexander Luthor or Earth PRIME which had no superheroes in it (originally intended as our earth but DC got creative and added a Superman). The other was to show off that they had acquired new properties from the companies they had bought up. DC unlike Marvel is a conglomeration of other companies that got bought up by one company, DC even became DC after National Comics merged with ALL STAR Comics. With the merger of the two companies they needed a new name because having National distribution was no longer a brag and ALL STAR was the smaller company with it’s only big recognisable hero being Wonder Woman who was rejected by National. The name DC was not picked as commonly stated as an abbreviation of Detective Comics, because who would name their company after a book that only sold moderately well when Action Comics and Sensation Comics are both better names for your company. DC was chosen for it’s connotations with the Government. When the National and ALL STAR merged both publishers were only a couple years old and it was rare for their characters to meet each other. Batman and Superman wouldn’t be in a story together until 1954 with World’s Finest 71 and this was done as a finical decision as they where always both featured on the cover but had different stories inside. DC chose to shrink the size of the publication and with the shrinking publication the only way they could justify keeping the pair (often with Robin as well) on the cover was to create stories with the two of them together. By 1961 DC and their absorbed companies each had their own established universe, Charlton’s heroes often met, but if they suddenly appeared with Green Lantern with no explanation, it would raise the question as to why they had never met. This concept would only be made worse by Captain Marvel and the Marvel Family being introduced with Captain Marvel being a pastiche of Superman and him having Zeus shared in his origin’s like Wonder Woman. So these new heroes and their universes where given their own separate Earth to explain why they weren’t part of Batman’s softball team. 

DC established their multiverse and had them all clearly marked; Earth-ONE was your main universe where most stories happened, Earth TWO was older stories and where Black Canary originated from (during one Crisis story her husband was killed and grief stricken she chose to join the Justice League). Earth Zero was a square earth created by Bizarro where the laws of physics only worked when they felt like it (it was also entirely populated by distorted clones of other DC characters and is often referred to as “Bizarro World”). Earth THREE was the mirror universe, Earth FOUR was characters acquired from Charlton Comics (Blue Beetle, Captain Atom and The Question probably being the most notable). Earth AD was the setting of Jack Kirby’s Kamandi and Omac (despite these series explicitly being set in the future, Omac even being the Grandson of Superman and Lois Lane and Kamandi being Omac’s grandson). Earth-C the home of Captain Carrot and the Zoo Crew (a superhero team consisting of anthropomorphic animals). Earth-S home to the Fawcett heroes (then called the Marvel family now known as Shazam). Earth-Prime a goofy world with just a Superboy. Earth-Quality home to the characters acquired from Quality Comics (probably the most famous of these being The Spirit) and the last one I’m going to mention The Anti-Matter universe where Sinestro first got his Yellow ring and home to the Anti-Monitor.

The DC Multiverse was changed forever in the 1986 storyline Crisis on Infinite Earths. All Earth’s got destroyed by the Anti-Monitor who was only defeated by The Flash (Barry Allan) when he ran so fast he absorbed both into the Speed Force. The only survivors of this being the Supermans of Earth ONE and TWO, Lois Lane of Earth TWO, Jay Garrick (EARTH TWO), Alexander Luthor Jr (EARTH THREE), Superboy (Earth Prime) and the Psycho Pirate (DC has ignored and retconned out the survival of Vandal Savage). It was now up to these surviving heroes and the Psycho Pirate to recreate the Earth, the result of which being New Earth. The Superman of Earth One, Jay Garrick and Psycho Pirate decided to live on this New Earth, although Superman would soon forget all about this as his whole history was about to be rewritten in John Byrne’s Man of Steel mini-series. Alexander Luthor Jr, Superboy Prime, Superman and Lois Lane of Earth Two would instead live in a dome outside the universe called Heaven. 

The Multiverse concept was gone for a while and replaced by the new idea of “Hyper-time”. Hyper-time was abandoned in 2005 to be replaced by the Multiverse because nobody understood Hyper-time. The storyline that reintroduced this into official continuity was Infinite Crisis, but this new version of the Multiverse had stricter rules, there could only be 52 Earths. This was stated because thats the amount of vibrational frequencies the Flash could generate and only worlds he could recreate the frequency of he could access. All Earths the Flash could access where number with a number like “Earth-1”. “Earth One” and “Earth-1” are different places in the multiverse, 1 is the next variant from New Earth and Earth One is for stand alone stories published in original graphic novels. The whole DC Multiverse has been mapped out by Grant Morrison for his mini-series’ Multiversity and even has 4 earths that nothing is known about other than “their purpose is sinister”. The Multiverse also temporarily housed the Milestone (Static Shock) and Wildstorm universes until they where both folding into the main universe during Flashpoint. The DCAU (DC Animated Universe of animated series) has a placement in the Multiverse as Earth-12.

Now there are two other concepts that need explaining as they are outside the DC Multiverse but effected their inhabitants; The Fifth Dimension and The New Gods. 

The Fifth Dimension is inhabited by cartoonish characters who can warp reality at their whims, notable examples would be Mr Mxsptlkz a being whose whole goal is to make Superman look foolish, Bat-Mite an obnoxious fanboy for Batman, QWSP a well intentioned imp who helped Aquaman in the 60’s and Mopee who before Crisis on Infinite Earths was said to have created the Speed Force. The Fifth Dimension is based on the idea that height, width and breadth are the first 3 dimension and time is the 4th, and we can’t perceive the 5th so it’s full of omnipotent beings. 

The New Gods are something different but similar, they are parasites that are the living embodiment of the concept they represent, the stronger their concept is in the Multiverse the stronger the New God is.The Supervillain Darkseid is the most famous of the New Gods and he is the embodiment of Hatred so the more people feel hatred the stronger he is. Of course some New Gods are positive things Bekka is the New God of Love and Mr Miracle is the embodiment of Hope (something that makes Tom King’s decision to make him suicidal even worse). The New Gods did have a placement in the pre-Crisis on Infinite Earth’s multiverse as Earth FOURTEEN however this feels like a mistake even then when the “good” New Gods live on New Genesis and the Evil ones live on Apokolips. The New Gods can only enter the multiverse using devices known as Mother Box’s that create “Boom Tubes” which are portals that will alter their size so they can actually fit on the planet they wish to conquer or save (each New God is roughly the size of a Galaxy). 

And that I hope has made you wiser on how the DC Multiverse works and why it exists THANK YOU.

Sabrina the Comic Code Approved Satanic mistress

Worried that Comic books are a bad influence on your children? what you need is the Comics Code Authority, a bunch of faceless pencil pushers to enforce a strict code of rules that must be obeyed under any context. This includes banning of all things occult, to the degree that writer Marv Wolfman couldn’t be hired by DC because his last name is the same as a Universal monster.

The Comic Code Authority was more interested in enforcing the word of the “Code” than actually the spirit of it. And if you’ve made it this far and have no idea what the Comics Code Authority was, let me explain. After World War 2 the sales of Superhero books declined and in their place new comic genres became popular, genres like Horror, Real Crime, Romance and Westerns. But Comic books where thought of as a “Kids medium” and some of those genre’s are less family friendly than the adventures of Superman. With absolutely no censorship or age restrictions, kids where reading comics with any level of sex and or violence in them. Parents where livid and The Reverend Fredric Wertham answered their call and wrote the book “The Seduction of the Innocent”. With Comic book writers and artists as pariahs they came to the solution that they would create a self regulating body that would deal with this, the strictness of their rules put parents minds at rest because now Comics didn’t have words like “Horror” or “Fear” in the title and the undead didn’t grace the covers or interiors of their children’s funny books. The code actually had no power other than just being a symbol on the front of comic covers, it was entirely enforced by Elementary school teachers and store owners only complied with the ban out of fear that the school principal and a hoard of angry mothers protesting outside their premises. 

The code slowly eroded and Marvel became the badboys of the Comic industry flaunting their rules any chance they got and working around them as subtly as they could. I really hope you now have a mental image of Stan Lee hanging by the Bike racks wearing a Leather Jacket and smoking a cigarette. Marvel started their post Comic code authority days chasing after every fad, Romance comics, War Comics, Westerns all to keep the lights on. But the fad that changed things for them was Science fiction comics, which naturally lead to Jack Kirby drawing monsters. The popularity of Science Fiction comics lead their storied rival of DC to reinvent the Superhero starting with the new Flash, then Green Lantern, then to The Justice League of America. The popularity of the last one lead to Timely (that in a few months would become Marvel) to order Stan Lee and Jack Kirby to create a new Superhero team. A team of explorers who get exposed to the nations biggest fear radiation and ended being mutated permanently and one even into a literal monster. Marvel’s biggest hits of this era all of Sci-Fi Horror roots, as mentioned the F4 a team of explorers who fight monsters and fight an evil Warlock who dresses as Death, The Hulk who shares many similarities with Jekyl and Hyde and a Spider-man (who they almost got sued by a manufacturer of Halloween costumes for plagiarism). 

That’s all well and good but what of Sabrina? While Marvel Comics where working on eroding the system from within, Archie where more complicit with the code. Having experimented and failed earlier with new Superheroes (after the days of Comic’s being used as scapegoats). Archie found success with a series of B-Stories with a protagonist named after the company, Archie where anything but subversive. They portrayed the everyday adventures of a teenage boy who can’t decide who his “best gal” is while his best friend just wants to eat a lot of Hamburgers. Archie Comics image was so squeaky clean they got green-lit for a cartoon series about their band after the PTA had found a new folk devil in Saturday Morning cartoons, Cartoons that included a very faithful adaptation of Stan Lee and Jack Kirby’s Fantastic Four comics made by Hanna-Barbera. 

But hiding within this wholesome slice of Americana was a Witch! A teenage witch who enjoyed Milkshakes. Debuting in Archie’s Mad House, a PG version of Mad Magazine (not a Horror Comic). Sabrina a debuted as a troublemaker, The Archie universes answer to Dennis the Menace, spiking drinks with Love Potion number 9. The character was envisioned by George Gladir and Dan DeCarlo as a one shot strip, but fans of Archie wanted more and with no backlash of her teaching children about the Occult (the original strip actually refers to Salem as her Familiar). The Choir boys managed to get away with something that the bad-lads at Marvel would’ve had to fight for. 

Sabrina continued to appear in Archie’s MadHouse until issue 74 when she would be spun off into her own ongoing book and a Filmation animated series. But in this time the character had been altered by an Archie Comics committee into a goody two shoes who only uses her magic for good. If anything she was now a High-School aged clone of Samantha from Bewitched with her own supporting cast, Salem was now her Pet cat. This was how Sabrina was until the 1990’s when changes like Salem being a former warlock where introduced. Archie’s characters where stagnant because the company often reused old scripts, believing their audience wouldn’t notice if they only used the script once every four years because the audience for comics either threw them away after reading them or would only collect them between the ages of 8 and 13. DC also did this in 60’s and the early 70’s on their B Superman books (World’s Finest, Superman’s Girlfriend Lois Lane and Superman’s Pal Jimmy Olsen). Sabrina’s Comics changed with whatever TV series they where tied to, sometimes Fummetti (an italian word for “photo comic”) or redrawings of the show packaged as a comic.

But whatever happened to the Comic’s Code Authority? Well they tried to use the power they never had and it imploded on them. Marvel where given a letter from the White House that said “This drug situation is getting pretty bad could you write a story with Spider-man warning kids about them” and Stan Lee and Gil Kane (with John Romita Sr illustrating the cover) obliged President Nixon’s stationaries request. But the CCA did not approve of this and tried to pull Amazing Spider-man 97 from stores and… nothing happened, no parents protesting, Newsstands sold the comic without their logo and the world moved on. From that day onwards Marvel published all their comics with the Comics code Authority logo on them without even sending their scripts or pages for approval. The Comic Code Authority was a corpse that only DC and Archie supported. DC obviously didn’t submit every comic but their standard ones (things that aren’t Watchmen or Vertigo) did go through processing until 2006. Where the Comic Code Authority was one retired Fourth grade teacher who was reading free copies of Archie and DC who would sometimes 9 months after the comic was published sent them a note saying “This Batman comic is too violent”.

Of course once the Comic’s Code Authority was a complete non-entity, Archie Comics where deeply uncool, being sold at Supermarkets and bought by parents in vein attempts to shut up their kids while they buy groceries. Archie needed reinvention, they needed to get with it, and stop the Superheroes from giving them wedgies and stealing their lunch money. 

Archie first dipped its toe into the water with the introduction of Kevin Keller an openly gay character, this got Archie comics good media coverage. No longer where they the butt of an unfunny joke, they where revolutionary not just being held by a Sitcom character to show what a Dork they are. The next step was simple kill Archie, which they did having him leap in front of a bullet meant for Kevin. The US media was in shock, and of course the other thing Warner Bros second comic company stole from it’s first was Reboot. Now Archie comics where more mature or self aware and subversive, Archie vs the Punisher wasn’t a one-off now he could meet the Predator or Debbie Harry or live in a Zombie Apocalypse. Sabrina also got a reboot, a new version that wasn’t inspired by her kids shows, now they could fully explore the occult. Sabrina’s first NEW Archie role was to bring the dead back to life, After life with Archie was such a success that Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa was asked to do more. So in came a new version more in line with the original, a comics Sabrina who has Harvey under love spells and argues with her Familiar. What a strange ride.

Why DC Loves Batman, and only likes Superman?

I’ve written about Superman’s decline in popularity and I’ve written about Batman’s rise in popularity. But I never really discussed why that happened, other than the rise of a new cynical wave of comics. However “Cynical Comics” are a symptom not the disease, Batman’s greatest power is money both in reality and the comics and that is also Superman’s greatest weakness (not that Superman has trouble acquiring money, he crushes coal and makes it diamonds, no one can do that will ever need to file for bankruptcy). Batman is very exploitable for cash, think about it from the stance of a kid playing dress up in their back garden, to be Superman all they need is a piece of red cloth, to be Batman they need, a cape (properly cut to look like Batwings), a mask, a utility belt full of assortment of gadgets and a toy car. Because Superman has Superpowers that can’t be replicated in the real world, all of what makes Superman special exists in the child’s mind, Warner Bros can’t get a toy manufacturer to make real X-ray glasses or a Superman branded flight suit but they can make ride on pedal cars that look like the Batmobile or plastic Batarangs. Superman’s powers even get in the way of toy manufacture, how does a Superman toy fly? a kid runs around the living run holding it over their head yelling swoosh. a radio controlled one is expensive, but also by Superman never requiring new gadgets unlike Batman, less variants can be made to seem authentic, although DC have tried in various ways to create more variants like how Superman the Animated series took away his ability to survive in outer space so they could make a rocket ship and space suit variant toy or the abysmal non sensical Red vs Blue from the comics which literally doubled the amount of action figure variants they could make. Simply Batman is very Toyetic, Superman is not, and when you’re owned by a company that cancelled production on a popular TV show (Young Justice) because “it didn’t sell enough toys” guess whose the golden boy (and getting ANOTHER cartoon series).

But it’s more than Superman’s lack of a Malibu beach houses that have hindered him, Superman has often been used to explore anti-consumerism ideas. The Monicker the Man of Steel actually stems from John Henry, a proletariat hero who smashed a machine because it stole livelihood from workers and died destroying it. Superman as the Man of Steel can do that and survive as he’s made from the same material as the oppressor, he can smash through and save the people. Superman’s archenemy Lex Luthor is even a selfish capitalist (based on Donald Trump in John Byrne’s Man of Steel mini-series). Lex seeks power for power’s sake and doesn’t care about anybody else, and the only one who can stop him is Superman. Of course Marxist ideology was downplayed in Superman comics in the 1950’s after Siegel and Shuster where accused of being Communists. This lead to the new version of Superman, The Man of Tomorrow. The new spiritual Superman, a smarter, kinder man with more power than anyone else, in touch with his higher self. A more ascended being who thought more about others than himself, the Super in his name does not refer to his immense Superpowers but to him being a manifestation of the Super-Ego (from the Freudian trio). As the Super-Ego man, he feels the weight of the world on his shoulders and must try to figure out whether to help or not as sometimes short term help is long term hurt. This version of Superman is still used by Grant Morrison and the ideas where first explained to me by a Buddhist Guru. But what do Buddhist and Marxist ideologies have in common? well they both believe the acquisition of material objects is bad for you, leading Superman to being an anti-capitalist hero.

Of course the corporate overlords of Warner Bros can’t have a flagship hero who says “don’t spend all your money”, especially as they’ve survived on a Whales not Fish. This probably needs explaining “Whales and Fish” comes from freemium online games, a Whale is a player who will drop lots of money on the game and help sustain the games longevity for longer, (like how a Whale will feed a village for months) whilst a fish will only give them a little bit of money if they ever payout. DC has been using this kind of economics for years, in fact Wonder Woman has always had fairly bad sales in the comics but been a very popular license for clothing and other more expensive items. To make up for being in 3rd place in comic sales (first being Marvel and second being Image), DC sell a lot of Toys and massively expensive variant covers.

Batman is a much easier sell to a creepy Billionaire filling his penthouse with Toys, that doesn’t mean DC have never tried selling Superman to these people, but the results have been divisive at best. Look at Zack Snyder’s vision for the character; a first movie where he only cares about the hot redhead, then a movie where he fights Batman and then a 3rd unmade movie where he becomes an evil overlord. 

Modern Batman seems modelled on James Bond, film’s most profitable misogamist. The preferred idea of Batman is an angry loner with a Harem of action figure ready ladies who he attracts by being emotionally distant and abandoning at the drop of a hat. Some are allies other are enemies but one things constant an underlying sexual tension even when it’s creepy or doesn’t make any sense. Poison Ivy is portrayed as lesbian except when she’s around Batman then she wants to find out whats under his utility belt, Harley Quinn has the mind of a child but DC Comics will have her posing suggestively licking a baseball bat as a phallus, Bat-Girl his best friends girlfriend he has no qualms about banging. Meanwhile Superman has had the same love interest in Lois Lane, a progressive hardworking girl trying to make it in a man’s world that Superman treats as an equal and stays with even if she has some negative personality traits. Well Batman and Superman do share a love interest, Wonder Woman, often the one woman in the Justice League reduced to the middle of a love triangle, DC made it officially canon a Superman and Wonder Woman after years of shipping between the two (see Dark Knight Strikes Again or Red Son both storylines that reduce her to nothing more than that), but it made some sense. Wonder Woman and Batman only makes sense in Bruce Timm’s mind as many version of the two have Wonder Woman hating Batman, Wonder Woman respects truth, honesty and vulnerability three things Batman can never be or he’d lose his bravado. But who cares about character consistency when you can have some creepy Batman fan buy his girlfriend Wonder Woman themed lingerie for Christmas that year and claim “She’s like totally empowered” as he ties her up remember that’s the characters only weakness. 

Batman pays the bills, Batman is aspirational to creepy dudes, caring for others doing the right thing, they’re not profitable. That’s the truth, but superheroes where meant to teach little kids to be a good person and do the right thing. Chasing after money is what DC do, with bespoke services like a Brazilian hotel that lets you pretend to be Batman for the night. But those who can afford that, often didn’t get that way by being good people, more Billionaires are like Lex Luthor rather than Bruce Wayne. In the real world parodying comic, Lex became president and we have his inspiration as the real world president. The only real difference is Trump has molested more women than Lex and doesn’t have Superman to stop him. But DC doesn’t want to lose their gravy train by making people question this status quo. Both characters are completely successful at what they’re creators wanted, Siegel and Shuster wanted to create a new American folk lore hero for the Sci-fi-Atomic age and that’s what Superman is, he even in the real world fought the Ku Klux Klan and poses with eagles. Bob Kane he just wanted to make money, he even stole from anywhere he could, Batman comics even stole antagonists from Superman. Seriously a fair amount of Batman villains are clones of the Prankster and even more on the nose is Riddler and the Puzzler (the Puzzler debuting a year earlier in the comics), The Planteer and Maxie Zeus are almost indistinguishable, is it any wonder that Superman the Animated Series feels like sloppy seconds. But at least Superman gets the seconds while Batman cartoons steal his stories, there has never been a Flash or Wonder Woman animated series, I would even say the Flash is tailor made for a cartoon show, the characters known for witty comebacks, using science (sometimes highly suspect science) to defeat his enemies and has a main power with a long history in cartoons (Super speed being shared with Speedy Gonzales and Road Runner). Green Lantern was given a brief a chance to shine, but it was hardly given a chance his movie was originally meant as a slapstick comedy and his cartoon was cancelled in mid-production. Meanwhile Batman is on what his 12th cartoon series now? If anything DC needs to stop having one flag bearing hero and let all of it’s heroes shine, especially as more and more derision is being laid at Batman, except by his fanboys of course.